Constant Fighting
My girlfriend of 5 months and I have recently fallen into a pattern of continuous fighting. I feel like I’m causing most of the issues and she is being very patient with me. I don’t want to push her away but I can’t seem to break the cycle of fighting. I want to be better for her and for our relationship. I love her so much and it breaks my heart when I say something that makes her cry.
I feel like a lot of the fighting stems from me feeling like she doesn’t love me as much as I love her. And this feeling is something I think I developed as a result of my last relationship. It’s something I’m trying to work on but I think I’m stuck on my path and looking for a way to resolve past issues so they don’t interfere with my current happiness.
@philosophicalPond7910
constant fighting is an issue we need to find an explanation........to stop the circle.
thanks to therapy the easiest thing to blame our past .... issues and relationships.... could that be an easy go to instead of dealing with current underlying issues? something that bothers you or her but you dance around that and blame other things.
Example I have a few things in my relationship and when trying to rationalize my feelings that he was always like this ... but i am finding it does not really add up.... when I blame past and not real reasons ..... the often similar arguments continue..... only if we can bring into the present can it be resolved ....
if you say "well past things make me think this" .... there is no expectation of you to change because it has already been X amount of time and you have not made progress . it is a goal with out a timeline to fix....... it is like giving yourself a no expiration get out of blame free card. If they see this being used again and again it lowers their expectations that you will change or adjust to the relationship so why should they make changes and compromise either.
see the circle
