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Coping advice

User Profile: LowlyLobster
LowlyLobster July 20th, 2025

My partner and I are very different in how we handle issues. Tonight has been particularly difficult. We're both socially exhausted and neither of us really feel like talking would be fine except all I want is to cuddle. To have my partner there while I recharge, he on the other hand is the complete opposite. No talking, no touching, he can barely look at me. I know this isn't against me and it's just his way of recharging but I litterally can't sleep. I've been trying for the last hour and nothing is working. Finally I gave in and am now in a warm bath which is helping subside the want for cuddles but I know once I go back to bed I'll be awake staring at the ceiling again. This happens every once in awhile and I end up getting almost no sleep, if I do manage to pass out my body wakes me up within the hour and the cycle repeats.

Any advice on better coping mechanisms to get to sleep?

3
User Profile: Amanda84
Amanda84 July 20th, 2025

@LowlyLobster

Its hard when we both have different ways of coping and processing. I'm glad the bath is helping. Don't take anything your partner dies to process personally. What helps me sleep is no caffeine before bed, no tech lift, no phone, lavender sprayed on my pillow, no clutter and some relaxing music, wishing you get the rest you need 💜💕

1 reply
User Profile: Amanda84
Amanda84 July 20th, 2025

@Amanda84

Sorry, no technology.

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User Profile: Spiritriver
Spiritriver July 20th, 2025

If it was winter, I'd suggest a weighted blanket.  It helps a person feel "embraced."  I made a recording of ocean surf, and layered on the sound of rain.  Initially I did it to mask my tinnitus, but now I wish I'd have thought of it sooner.  I have an mp3 player with the sounds on a continuous loop, which is plugged into an old 3 piece computer speaker setup (2 speakers and a sub-woofer).  It's been playing the loop for at least 7 years by now.  

I also meditate before bed.  There are lots of guided meditations on Youtube, and meditation music as well.  

I notice if I don't exercise for a few days, it's harder to sleep.  

Both my brother's-in-law sleep with box fans running, their way of getting the "white noise" that is mesmerizing.