Cutting my dad off
Hi all, i’m currently going through a big mental debate. I want to cut my dad off. For background, i live with him, and my grandparents. my mother is not in the picture. as far as i can remember my dad has NEVER been in my life, and yet still tries to control me or act like he’s the most present father in the world. everything he says is backhanded and i don’t want to be around him ever. we do have good days sometimes, but those good days come with bad months. I turn 18 in a few days and he has made no effort to fix his relationship with me. he hasn’t talked to me in a month, and when he says anything about me it’s always negative. He is the most mentally draining person i know.
The thing i’m struggling with is He is my father. he may have not been there with me my whole life but he’s the only parent i have. i feel guilty for feeling this way, but i seriously don’t know what to do anymore. any advice?
@decisiveTurtle6207
I too had an only parent that i had to step back from too. It is very hard but the backhanded compliment/insult thing cuts to the core. I understand that. Parents who like to step up and pretend they were there and supportive when you needed them do not need us to cave in because "family". This happens as we age they think they should somehow get credit for our achievements.
You can set boundaries and forge a new relationship with him as co-adults not parent and child.... take his words or advice like you would a neighbor just smile and nod and then sort if valid take parts that are otherwise ignore it.