DM and the shame

I was being too naive to trust people. I believe that they'll be truthful to me like I've been truthful with my words to them.

I came from a family with little to no violence in respect of spouses.

I got married to a guy where his father is abusive and use heavy alcohol.

My spouse is a liar from the start. I knew but I was too naive to believe he is going to be truthful to me like I did to him.

From the start he painted his false picture to me, and lied before lots of Reverend people.

He always lied about his whereabouts and when he's coming home.

I got tired of his lies and I begged him not to lie to his wife. But he won't listen, came home drunk and slept while I cry my eyes out.

I worked whole day and stressed from office and came home, he'll be fixated on his device watching reels, and I'll fix food, he won't cook without me requesting many times.

He doesn't have a job, but he won't give me his little attention.. His little time.

All I ask of him is bare minimum. I just want him to take care of me, while I'm ready to head on the hard job.

It frustrates me to realize how little effort he's putting in this relationship.

But he does care about his siblings and patents. Much more than me offcourse. He lets me rot here alone while he tends his family whole day and came back to our place late at night.

I got panic, and started fighting with words. I

Said I want to get divorce, but he won't listen to anything I said.

Here I'm shout and shaking any crying with lots of tears, but nothing goes through his ears.

So I wanted him to leave me, shove him towards the door, he got so angry and started pushing me, nailing to to walls and down the bed.

We fought back and forth. I scratch and bit him. He is stronger than me, so he nailed me to floor pushing hard by my ear..

Then I realized, this is where our journey ends.

Cuz nothing like this exists in a good marriage.

We are done.

Cuz we got physical.

Nothing can mend this marriage.

I could never imagine to get physical with my spouse.

But this is it. I think he could imagine being physically violent towards his spouse.

I'm out.