Deeply hurt and feeling unconnected
I feel deeply lonely because of my husband. I don’t think he’s interested in connecting with me — he is quiet and prefers to live life his own way. He smokes a lot and enjoys spending time with his friends. Although he helps me with house chores whenever I ask, he never chooses to spend time with me or engage in conversation.
It’s very difficult and frustrating for me to cope with this. My days are filled with household duties and taking care of the children. No matter how many times I try to focus on other things like exercising, meditation, prayer, or giving attention to the kids, by the end of the day I still feel an emptiness in my heart. I feel like a robot, doing all the duties of a mother and wife, but my emotional needs are ignored.
He seems to intentionally avoid spending time with me, and it hurts. Sometimes I feel tempted to look for love elsewhere, but I have no one in my life — not even friends — to share my feelings with
@azureOwl7610
I found if you want a man to change or notice there is a problem you have to be honest and direct.
Do not wait for the "right " time as there is none. Tell him how you feel outright no guessing or trying to downplay that your needs are not being met....... and you need a connection, i waited too long and it has never been the same.
"I’ve been telling him for years that we’re not emotionally connected, and it’s been eating me up inside. I just can’t handle it anymore. Whenever I try to talk about it, he says nothing—just listens in silence, almost as if my words don’t matter. I don’t understand how he can be so unmoved, like a stone, while I’m pouring my heart out. Then the next day, he expects everything to be fine and acts as if nothing happened, while I’m still sitting with the pain, unable to move on."
@azureOwl7610 this is really sad. You deserve to be loved and cared for.
It might help to start with small steps for yourself even if your husband is distant try to create little spaces of joy or calm just for you like short walks, journaling, or connecting with an online support group sometimes when we focus only on the pain, it grows heavier, but adding small moments of peace can give you strength You still have time ahead to build new happiness for yourself, with or without him you are worthy of love and a life that feels meaningful
