Deflated

My partner has told me that after many years of feeling like her life has been put on hold because of me that she feels massively let down and like all I do is break promises consistently. She says this was not the life we she envisaged when we got together 10 years ago. She wants to break up. I don't. She says she doesn't want words and she feels numb she wants me to leave. Again I don't, I want to make things right. It feels like every time I say something it is met with anger.

I keep trying to connect back. I feel like everything is crumbling. We have always had a connection and I feel at a loss to be pushed away. I hate that she says she isn't happy and I don't think I'm wrong for feeling like I want to make things better. I'm just not sure how when I'm met with anger 80% the time I say something.

I know her anger and frustration comes from my too chilled approach to life. I think because of this she thinks I don't care but I do. I can find normal things challenging like dealing with people, it is draining where she is the complete opposite. I think because we're not the same in that respect it causes issues. Maybe I have taken too long to make decisions or do actions and she has seen that as I don't care. I do though and it's not like she hasn't been by my side the whole time so even if she doesn't agree woth what I think have been issues for me, she's still aware of times I've felt challenged. I think our different perspectives is the cause of where the anger comes from. In her opinion just get on with it. While I wish I could do that more like I say I have struggled.

I'm just not sure what to do now. I keep trying to reach out but feel deflated. I just wanted to rant.