Disorganized Attachment
Hi there!
For the longest time I always thought that I had an anxious attachment style. However after taking multiple free online tests I’ve had the same result: Fearful-Avoidant / Disorganized. Now after doing a bunch of research as to what it is and the subtypes, I feel like I’m starting all over again. I feel that Oscillating Disorganized strongly represents how I am—and it seems to only affect my romantic relationships.
My father was someone that I feared and longed for. I had a mother I craved attention to but wasn’t given much attention due to my sibling diagnosed with Autism in a time it still wasn’t diagnosed or studied as well as today.
I guess I just, don’t know what to do with this knowledge. I don’t even know where to begin with how to approach repairing my attachment style with this information. And I also feel a sense of grievance towards my younger self. Had my parents given me consistent love without inflicting fear and nurture interchangeably I wouldn’t be sitting here realizing how much that affected a lot of my romantic relationships.
I know it’s my responsibility now to repair this, but damn am I mad it even became my problem now.
@independentSquare8024
It is rather frustrating when we feel we weren't given the right support as a child and now it affects us in later life.
Sadly we cannot erase the past and it's important to understand why we act in certain ways, but not to go down too many rabbit holes trying to figure ourselves out.
Focus on what it is you want from a romantic relationship and what the priority is, you deserve to be happy and relationships are about learning and growing, not losing ourselves for 💖💜