Do I deserve love?

Honestly over the years it ahs been becoming increasingly more obvious to me that I'm romantically unlovable. Or maybe my personality and my looks are just unappealing to everyone around me.

Ive never kissed or dated anyone and I know someone will come and tell me that "you're still young, give it time and focus on yourself" but how does that help? That doesn't make me feel any different. Ills till see all the couples around me and think that wow I've never had that and I probably never will as somehow all the people I like just happen to leave or live very far away from the get go.

I've also realised that my pretty friends always get the guy which I get since they're gorgeous and amazing people but I do get jealous when for me no guy has ever asked me out,asked for my number/*** or anything of the sort--and yes some people would reply to that with "oh but what if they're just shy" well I don't want to assume that. I mean once two guys came up to em and a past friend they looked at us and then they asked they could get my friends *** and I was just standing there like "wow am I that unappealing"

And even if it's about my personality I don't know how to change it this is me I don't want to change. I want to be loved the way I am but it's becoming painfully obvious that that's not happening

Maybe I'm cursed or something I don't know.

And yes I've been told I should focus on more important things than boys as I have time,but it's still making me depressed especially after I had a crush who lives abroad and he gave me so many mixed signals going from replying to mostly my messages in group settings to not replying to my private messages for days or even weeks anyways I gave up on him as I had nothing to go off of.

But yeah I constantly feel like I don't deserve love or atelast romantic love and I feel like I need to be loved ate last once to feel validated which is wrong on so many levels and I shouldn't want a relationship because of that but o also want it because I want to finally experience holding someone's hand cuddling them hugging them and not ina friendly manner but instead romantic.

Whatever maybe I really don't deserve love and shouldn't push it oh well maybe I'm just disgusting and have a bad personality--i swear a lot and Im loud at times maybe that's very off putting for guys idk.