Do I reach out to her?
Hello everyone,
I have been on-off this place for a while. Reading everyone else's posts has helped bring me clarity.
I am in my later thirties, him, 34.
I have a recently separated from my him after 8 years.
He has always been abusive, and cruel to me. Definitely not motivating and not good for me or himself.
During our relationship we moved from Ontario to Nova Scotia to be closer to his family. That didn't work out and we ended up at my parents house for 4 or 5 years.
I started a new career, and purchased only to lose a puppy to heart failure. It felt like we lost our child.
He went back to college and he has had his struggles with learning and testing.
Things have been stressful throughout our relationship but I trusted we were in it together. Thick and thin. Depression, sickness, hardship.
But he was cruel to me, called me names, was physical at times. I wasn't as affectionate as I could have or I guess should have been. Because he found someone else who 'actually wanted to spend time with him'
This girl might be a college student. Might be 20 years old.
She is already in our house, less than two weeks later.
I am devastated, but all I can think is she is his next mooch, his next outlet.
I can reach her, if I want to, and play her recordings of his abuse. I can warn her of who he is. As WONDERFUL as he makes out to be, he has SO much work to do on himself, I do on myself as well.
Do I do this? Should I Do this? Should she learn her own lessons? Am I over reacting? Am I a crazy ex for being upset she's already there in our house?
I want to smash everything he owns. Those 'crazy' girls you see videos of women being *** off and smashing car windows and ***?
I feel that, I want to do that. So badly. I am in so much pain. Those women were in so much pain that they felt that smashing his car window or spray painting their fence or whatever they do that 'gets back' on their ex, is all they can do to keep them from exploding.
After all this writing all I need to know is if I should try and warn this girl? Or leave it be, for her own life lesson, or maybe she will be able to stand up to him.
Thanks...
@Chelleriac
I think most of us have that thought before of warning others who are about to walk into a bad situation.....
the truth is she will not believe you even with recordings she will listen to BS about you being the woman scorned and you are jealous....... even when it is true ... some people ONLY learn the hard way....
I hear you, did the same thing myself
Everything is obvious now and I was only lying to myself thinking he was a good person
She will hopefully figure it out faster than I
Thanks so much for your insight
@Chelleriac
Good Lord!, this is so familiar.
Madly in love, I planned to marry her. I thought, 'No. She would never treat me like I saw her treat others, serving persons, students, and etc... I am different, I am special, I am her love.' Guess what?Same old, same old.
No one can warn you, just as you cannot warn an other person, for disbelief is present. 'I am different. She/he loves me. I will never be treated like she/he treats others.' Surprise, surprise...As with others, so with you.
Best to see reality and 'Saynora...' to all that.
I hope you are gone and out of there and have healed from that relationship.