Freeze Response - unsuccessful, not worthwhile, stuck
pandoracrumbled
June 23rd, 2025
When we argue my partner yells. I want to shut down and withdraw but am worried about his response so l freeze. I try to stay in the conversation but can't really engage because it doesn't feel right. It feels like I'm just giving into what he wants emotionally in that moment. If he hangs up or wants to just end the conversation or walks out it's ok, but not if I do, so l wait it out. This makes him more angry. Eventually I'll retreat to a separate room and he'll passive-aggressively "find" me later and ask if I intend to return to wherever he is at the time...or he just resumes the argument either directly or under the guise of having a conversation about it.
Voodvins
June 24th, 2025
@pandoracrumbled I can't say that it's attachment or fear, because in relationships one partner is often afraid of losing the other. But the fact that you can't be yourself is definitely a bad sign. I think you should tell your partner about it. Maybe he will understand you and you will feel better. If not, then still remember - your feelings and emotions are important, you have the right to be yourself in difficult moments, and not to please someone and submit to someone's desires. Hold on!