Friendship Breakup
I have met this guy at my job which I didn't know he views me as attractive. I have known him for two years in the hotel business by that he services the hotels I've worked at. He gave me his number and we went talking from there. He also mentioned to me that he has an 8 year old whom is adorable 🥰
We've texted first by phone for a month by phone before we officially went out on a date in November 2024. We've had a couple of dates, hangouts at his house and have included his son in many occasions.
Right now I'm torn in pieces because he admitted to me that he has been talking to his son's mom for the past few weeks 😔. I was happy because I feel that a child should have both parents in his life. But what made my heart sink was that he wanted to give her a second chance. And unfortunately, I've never told him that I've grown romantic feelings for him.
He wants to be friends until he gets everything figured out. And he never wants us to talk in person about this so I decided to record an audio message to let him know that it's not a good idea to be friends due to my feelings and how complicated it has become to his friend. I didn't tell him that I was in love with him so I'm burying that to myself.
Now it's hard to not think about him and all the good times we've had. Plus, I wanted to check up on him to see how's work going and if he's okay and it's been two weeks.
My feelings are seriously conflicted 😫
@MysteriousBee I just want to hold space for you right now. You opened your heart to someone in a gentle, genuine way, and now you’re sitting with all these tangled emotions—love that’s unspoken, memories that feel heavy, and silence that feels louder than words. That’s so much to carry.
The fact that you respected his connection with his child and his child’s mother shows how thoughtful and caring you are. You weren’t just thinking about a relationship with him—you were imagining yourself into the whole picture, into something real. That takes heart. And courage. And love.
And now, he’s pulled back—and left you with your feelings just… hanging. That kind of emotional limbo is painful, especially when someone says “let’s be friends” while also walking away from something that was starting to feel meaningful to you. It’s okay that you told him you can’t be friends right now. That’s not weakness—that’s you protecting your heart, because it deserves that care.
The part of you that still wants to check in on him? That’s your love speaking. That’s your kind nature. But I also want you to know it’s okay to hold that love while stepping back. You can love someone and still choose to walk away—for your own healing, your peace, your dignity.
You don’t have to bury how you feel forever. Maybe one day you’ll be able to say it out loud, even just for you. Saying “I loved him” doesn’t make you foolish—it makes you real. And human.
It’s okay to grieve what could have been. It’s okay to miss the good times. And it’s okay to feel conflicted—because loving someone doesn’t always mean they’ll be ready or able to love you back in the same way.
Be gentle with yourself. Take time to feel this. And when you're ready, remember that this pain will shift. You’ll find your feet again, and you’ll carry the lessons—but not the heartbreak—with you.
You’re not alone in this. And you’re stronger than you know. 💛
Thank you so much @energizingHorizon2963 💕 I wanted to unload everything because my heart has been heavy about this situation. And I felt like a sucker for still loving him, despite the outcome. I just...know in my heart that I loved him, even if he doesn't know it. I just hope that the son gets the family he wants is all. I didn't have much of that when I was growing up.
He's a sweet kid and with the whole is today, it needs more compassion and kindness than anything.