Gaslighting Spouse
When you tell your husband something is bothering you, or they did something to upset you and they get angry because you are always annoying their peace what do you do?
@Jjj93
It is different for different people no one answer of what to do, but I think live your life as if they are roommates... until you are able to communicate clearly. communication is more involved than talking. It requires active listening and understanding...
Your spouse's response is rude and disrespectful as clearly, he does not see you as an equal partner. It really is up to you of how you let him treat you maybe next time he shares you tell him he is bothering your peace ...
I feel he is rude to me, for example i got upset over something he attacked me, he literally said what will u do? I dont care about you or our daughter i dont care if i lose everytbing apparently he is depressed but i feel this isnt an excuse
@Jjj93
understanding a person is not giving them an excuse ... no it is not an excuse.
But when we know the why or other things going into a situation, we can find answers ...reaching out and being able to connect fixes things.
either you want a solution or a person to blame for how things ended.
@Jjj93 It sounds like your spouse is very immature. People who lack emotional intelligence tend to become defensive rather than constructive when their partners come to them with an issue. I echo the same sentiment that others have said. Know your worth. I will also add that the key to healthy relationships is not communication, it is comprehension. When my spouse crosses a boundary, I am very calm, clear, and direct that this is a deal breaker and await a genuine apology before moving forward. Also, as others have said, consider the type of attachment you have to this person and create some space. Many couples tend to become enmeshed and co-dependent with one another. Detachment is super important to maintain your autonomy, especially in these types of scenarios. Best wishes.
I unfortunately am in the same situation, but due to many factors have finally asked for a divorce. Anytime I would express a need or something I was missing he would get upset and throw back on me things he never brought up that "upset" him. I now realize he is truly a narcissist, and he can't deal with the shame that someone thinks he isn't perfect. It's maddening and disheartening. If you are going through the same thing I think you need to decide if you are willing to sacrifice your needs 24-7 to keep the peace or make a difficult decision, as it is probably not going to change :/