Ghosted Ghosted Ghosted
I decided to have the slightest amount of assertiveness in what I wanted out of an interpersonal relationship. When she told me she couldn't be concrete on a plan until the last minute, I got upset and backed away for a few days. She noticed and we talked it out, I ended up apologizing.
When she was giving me the cold shoulder, I told her how that made me feel. She denied doing that then said I had my expectations for her set way too high. I was confused and offered to talk more about that. She never did.
When she joined an event RSVP I had, I asked if we could iron things out. She said things were all good and has no problem with me. I refused to believe this. We call later that day and talk about the cold shoulder thing and the expectations thing she was talking about. It was almost an argument.
I apologized for making it an argument a few days later and she ignored that text. We haven't talked in over a week. I tried reaching out yesterday and she ignored me again.
Do I have this little value? Is a moment of weakness enough for somebody to just throw me to the side like I'm worthless? This has brewed an anger inside of me that I have to direct towards myself (I made the mistake of overcompensating for feeling stepped on before) or towards her (for being so immature she can't work with me on this, as we are coworkers and she can't just remove me completely).
I hate this. I know there's something wrong with me but I don't know what. It's so disheartening. Why does this keep happening?
@littleWater1786,
first, you're not being ghosted. Ghosting is a buzzword that it being used too often.
Second, you have different perceptions and have been trying to push her into a direction she doesn't/didn't want to go. And she made that clear but you ignored it. Maybe she just likes you.
Leave her alone. Maybe she will reach out, maybe not.
She didn't make it clear. She just said she feels I have high expectations but I don't know what that means. I wanted some clarity on that.
@littleWater1786
I cant seem to comment on this post..
@BlossomGirvan
i can see your comment! are you experiencing issues with the forums?
@Heather225
Yes I tried posting a relply here a few times and it just gave a error.. perhaps my internet was bad..
@BlossomGirvan
that's most likely it. if replies keep goofing up on you and it's not the internet do lemme know <3
@Heather225
Thank you. 😊
I see your comment!
@littleWater1786,
I’m sorry to hear you're going through a tough time. Feeling like you're putting effort into a relationship without receiving the same in return can be really challenging. Here are some thoughts that might help:
First, recognize your self-worth. Your value isn’t determined by someone else's treatment of you. It can be disheartening when efforts aren’t reciprocated, but it doesn’t diminish your worth. Setting boundaries is important. If someone consistently makes you feel undervalued, it may be worth reconsidering the relationship's dynamics. Prioritize your well-being.
Reflect on communication. It seems like you're trying to express your feelings and needs, which is positive. However, there might be a gap in how you both communicate. People have different styles and capacities. Reflect on how you each express emotions and see if there are ways to bridge the gap. While it’s hard to feel ignored, consider their perspective too—they may have their own challenges or communication styles.
Lastly, practice self-compassion and growth. Be kind to yourself during this time. It's natural to feel hurt, but remember, every interaction is an opportunity for personal growth and learning. Reflect on past patterns in relationships. Understanding these can help develop strategies for future interactions. Seek relationships where both parties can communicate effectively and meet each other’s needs.
Take care and stay strong.
