Ghosting: OK or Not OK?

When is Ghosting OK & NOT OK?

Just curious on what y'all's thoughts are in ghosting ...

I had my first "ghosting experience" when I was in junior high... One of my best friends, who I'll call *Mara moved away to a different school maybe in the 7th grade. We used to keep contact on an old website that was used for penpals... Slowly, she stopped talking to me.

But she did show up to our school before, but didn't really talk much to me... It was an awkward experience. I had dreams about her, but she was always distant.

In real life, she actually HATED me and told me subtly, I just was a fool not picking up the clues. She was MAD that I took her best friend away (we were a trio group) and "joked" about it. Furthermore, she made comments about how "Some girls are naturally pretty, but some need makeup" and basically said I needed makeup...then she mentioned having issues with her BF who was actually my best friend at the time, and mentioned he said something about me while she was crying but she wouldn't tell me what...

But yeah...we were... Weirdly frenemies and competitive I guess?? We're both browned skinned (different culture COMPLETELY, she's from south Asia and I'm from elsewhere), but they still thought we look "similar" (which, we didn't, completely different culture, only thing we have in common is brown skin... I have reddish brown curly hair, she has black straight hair, she's very short & I'm very tall, etc). We also had some of the HIGHEST grades in school, so naturally... I guess there was competition there...

Anyhow... I remembered hurting from her ghosting me. Wondering (stupidly) what the *** happened, but got over it quickly, as I was dealing with problems at home and made new friends on-and-off...

After that... I actually ended up "ghosting" the third friend, who I'll call *Emma of our trio group because she was being toxic... She was clingy, smacked my butt all the time, hung on to me, shoved her opinions down my throat, talked behind my back to her "online friends" and got JEALOUS when I talked to or hung out with other people. It was like having a GF without the romance...well..kinda...we used to cuddle, but I'm an oblivious fool...and didn't think much of it and I wasn't really out of the closet then. Didn't realize my feelings...

Then... I guess my NEXT big ghosting was in college at homestate, I was going homeless and I was starving. I felt like a burden to my college friends and didn't say anything and left for a (cold) state to live in to go to work...then eventually ended up in this (hot) state that I currently live on now...

Finally, I got ghosted by a man (who's my younger brother's best friend) after we were "together" for a year (not exclusive). He ended up shagging some other chick but didn't say anything to me, because he wanted to keep me around as "option b". He used me for money and comfort basically but treated me as a disposable... He'd give mixed signals treating me as a girlfriend for a while (ex.cook for me, do my laundry which he claimed he NEVER EVER did for ANY of his GFs before, gave money for son & myself even though I never asked him to, and lastly even took son to his appointment because son's dad is...useless...), Then he'd flip saying he ain't looking for a GF, quick being affectionate and quit hanging around so much, so I backed off respected that...then he was UPSET WITH ME for backing off asking "Why aren't you hanging out anymore?" And got huffy when I quit cuddling. I was respecting his wishes.

I never want to date another man child (or woman child) again. My ex fiancé was already enough, the. I deal with younger brother's best friend being an indecisive doofus, and lastly of course, my friend Emma was acting out...being possessive...

So yeah...

Idk...

I just thought about ghosting again because I've joined a dating app and tbh... I... Kinda don't mind people ghosting on there as much, I just kinda go "whatever" and unmatch. Only ONE person I feel slightly sad over, because I thought we had a connection, and it's hard to find... At the same time though, this person has a prestigious job (a doctor) and is working 20+hrs a day, while also on job.

I don't blame him for not getting back to me. I don't want to assume anything. I still think he's a good person, and while it sucks, it makes sense to get ghosted by him(ex. I'm a single parent, in between jobs while barely staring this new one, and just kinda getting my *** together. I'm surprised he still talked to me, asking me questions about my life, despite me being VERY upfront about everything...)...

He never unmatched though?? So it's like why don't you?... 😅 Idk if I would feel better or worse if he unmatched, at least then I'd have an answer... My bestie thinks he's just busy and that's why he hasn't responded, but it's been about over a week now... He went from answering daily, to every two days, and the longest has been a week. I want to try and be respectful, and bestie believes it's best to confront him, but idk. He could be dealing with some stuff.

I also ghosted others on there. I don't really know what to say??? We'd have a convo and they give boring "non answers" of "idk lol" or they make weird comments comparing me to their ex, that I don't really want to talk to them anymore after that... So I just quietly unmatch... It's mostly women who would ghost or give non-answers while the men I talked to were kinda... judgemental or compared to ex. Its a weird experience...

Thoughts on ghosting?

Is it ever OK to ghost? Why or Why not?