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  3. Having to mask about Dad emptying the dishwasher

Having to mask about Dad emptying the dishwasher

User Profile: Disneywoman
Disneywoman December 2nd, 2024

First Part:

I'm really upset with my dad today, and it's even worse that I have to hide my true feelings because of what he did. I know he was only trying to help, but the only times I need his "help" are either a) when Mom and I are in Toronto. or b) on weird occasions when Mom and I get home really late, like on Wed (we were supposed to be home like by 4-5pm at the latest, but due to heavy traffic on the road between the two places, being bumper-to-bumper traffic, we didn't end up getting home until 6:30pm).

Second Part:

So I went to church today. I only went to take part in the after-church potluck lunch, so there was a LOT of food, and I do mean a LOT of food. But then it's the United Church of Canada, so that normally is what happens when you get a groups of us together in one place and add food espcially in a pot luck lunch 

I didn't stay very long after eating the main courses and some desserts. I walked home, and when I got home, I noticed the supper glasses and my supper mug were on the table. That clearly meant Dad had emptied the dishwasher. It was barely 12:45 pm when I got home, and I don't even empty the dishwasher until about 1:30 pm-2 pm.

Dad said, "He thought I would be pleased he did that and the only thing I need to do is *refill the dishwasher", but  it really makes me very unhappy-since he took one of my jobs away from me.  I learned later that due to Mom still being too full from the potluck lunch to make supper that I'm probably not going to be doing any of my normal "Supper chores" expect for pouring drinks for myself and taking the jugs back to the fridge.  

Because there's no family supper, it means unless I put them on the table for myself to eat, there's no baked beans (despite how much I complain about them), or pickles and olives side dishes, nor any chip dishes - not even small chip dishes, not even Dad's lemon juice on the table for me to take off the table to "clear the table" one of my nightly chores.


So because Mom is  still being too full from lunch,  it means I don't get to do none of my usually jobs today because the one job I COULD have done today was pulled out from underneath me like that stupid parlour trick because Dad was trying to be helpful!!!!   I wish he could have just left the dishwasher alone so I could do the whole *bacon* job!!!!


I can't talk to Mom about it because she's already tired of me complaining about Dad about "polishing" stories from 2001 to the present time about him. So do you really think she would understand the fact that I'm unhappy about Dad taking away the one chore that made me feel like a grown-up? Especially now when I'm not going to be doing any of my *other* normal chores because she's still being "too full"?

Not to mention, I'm currently having an argument with her about the fruit salad. She's been home since 3:35pm and she's only NOW starting to make the "fruit salad" she promised for my supper at 6:17pm. For the last 55mins minutes, she's been having a nap on the couch, something she could have done between 4pm and 5pm. I would have liked to begin making something for me to eat, but I can't when Mom or someone is using the only freaking counter space available to work in because we didn't have fruit for breakfast. (We didn't want to have too big of a breakfast because of the big lunch aka the potluck so we didn't have the fruit for breakfast)

The second half is commonly a problem when there might be "too much food" to have at lunchtime (or in Wednesday's case, ate lunch late) that Mom's "too full" to have supper. This means I end up making myself something small to eat, and as a result, there are no normal supper jobs for me to do in order to clean off the table after having supper. So that's even more reason for me to be able to have just one normal job for me to do when things are "unusually" like today.

Know what is not a normal job for me to do? Being the dish fairy after supper that is NOT my job at all and yet Dad treats me like that every Thursday night or at least every night that Mom isn't at home so that in a week I will have 2 back-to-back nights of making my own supper and on both of those nights I will have to be the dish fairy.


So that's all i have to say why I'm just mad at everything today. 


*In regards to filling the dishwasher after Dad emptied it, what's the point of filling the dishwasher with barely any dishes in the first place? (Again, Mom and I didn't have much to eat for breakfast.) The next time I open the dishwasher for various reasons, I found Dad had put the fruit nappy bowl in the wrong spot. He placed it in the middle of the rack on the top shelf, which is mostly used for cups, instead of placing it at the side where it goes on the bottom shelf.


2
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User Profile: KatePersephone
KatePersephone December 2nd, 2024

@Disneywoman hello there. i hear you. i understand how doing certain chores in the house helps you feel valued and like you have a role in the household, and how by your dad's attempt to help you actually made you feel upset. and i get how routines being disrupted overall - such as your mom being too full thus delaying the fruit salad - makes you feel even more upset and frustrated.

thank you for opening up about these matters with us. we are here for you.

1 reply
User Profile: Disneywoman
Disneywoman OP December 2nd, 2024

@KatePersephone

I think my main problem with Dad emptying the dishwasher (beside the fact he distrupts a routine of mine)  is the fact he doesn't know where the *bacon* everything goes.  Let's just say its a good think I didn't make supper on Saturday night because I knew If I had Dad would have ended up putting the biggest pot in with the two smaller pots in the cupboard underneath the counter.    We have 2 sets of small forks -one that is bamboo and another set that has a flowers on it-  the former goes at the top of the drawer with all the utensils are in in there spot- well the latter goes at the bottom.   But if Dad empties the dishwasher?  I know I will find the next day the small bamboo  fork in the bottom part of the utensil drawers.   

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