Help.
I feel like my husband hates me. He is constantly criticizing me and putting me down and just generally being uncaring towards me. Whenever I point this out it starts these horrible arguments. I just feel so alone when he is here and when he is gone. He tells me that I am being unreasonable with what I see are basic requests and wants. Im so tired of this and feeling so bad.
@Bri132
There are so many possibilities in relationships. I find when my spouse puts does things like this it in my case is he feels insecure and wants me to feel that way too. it is miserable to feel alone with my spouse is here.
sadly, I feel if they do not address their own issues first. when you talk to him and it escalates do you use the "I feel" statements. I found this very helpful in this instead of talking about what he is doing like the put downs tell him how it makes you feel. i did this pointed out he could NOT dispute how I feel my spouse is much more cognizant about what or how he says something. I also feel doing your own thing alone tells them you are not jumping thru hoops to please their never-ending complaints, and they finally feel alone when they are NOT included.
Talking and going over it again and again only takes you so far. let your actions speak louder IMO men respond to that more.
I try to talk about feeling and I am told its not his problem or I need to figure it out. But then he turns around and tell me he does care and its my problem I feel like he doesn't.
I try to be kind or treat him as I want to be treated and its just a dead end. He ignores it or just gives me one word answers. He is gone more than he is home and doesn't check in with us.
I am tired of being physically alone when he is gone and emotionally alone when he is around. I cant even talk to him anymore without it becoming an argument.
@Bri132
I am sorry you cannot reach him to communicate.
Talking does not work when others are NOT listening. I went through similar and treating them better as we wish to be treated does not work IMO. what did work with me is to treat my Partner like he treated me... go places never telling him ignoring him when he is home. etc If you can make plans now. many lawyers will offer free consultation and getting a go plan is better to have and NOT need it then wait until you do need it.