He melted my heart just to tell me he won't choose me.
Hi everyone. I’m writing because I feel completely numb. I have a painful past; I came out of a very toxic relationship that forced me to lock my heart away. I swore I would never let anyone in again.
But then he appeared. Even though he often told me he "didn't want a relationship" and constantly tried to hold me back, his actions said something else. He was so sweet, so persistent, and so affectionate that he slowly melted my defenses. I fought it, but eventually, I let my guard down. I allowed myself to love him, even with all the warnings he gave me.
Today, it all came crashing down. He confessed that he loves me deeply even saying he's "ten times more in love with me than I am with him" but he finally confirmed what I feared: he will never choose me. He told me I’m a "10/10 woman" and that he’s devastated, yet he’s choosing to stay in his current life, away from me. He wants us to be "friends" because he says he can't bear to lose me, but he’s already decided we have no future.
I feel hollow. It feels like he snatched away the last bit of love I had left. After fighting so hard to heal from my past, I now feel incapable of ever loving anyone else. He broke through my walls just to leave me standing there alone. I just need to know if anyone else has felt this void, the pain of a heart being "melted" only to be broken. Thanks for listening.
Everything will be alright soon 🫂
Thank you so much!
I really don’t want to feel like this anymore
@Gabrielamtineo Ohhh my! I'm so sorry for what you're going through. As heartbreaking as it may be, I wanted to let you know that I'm proud of you-- for opening your heart up to ❤️ again. I know you said your history was toxic and you wanted to guard ❤️, but sometimes it creeps up on us. Ultimately, I'm sorry you're left feeling this ache again.
But @Gabrielamtineo, please ask yourself if this the kinda love you want and deserve? I don't care how nice someone appears to be. People always show themselves. He says he's in love with you more than you reciprocate, you're a 10 of a woman, but yet he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you? He can't be with you but yet wants to keep you around as friends? That's hurtful, in my views. It takes a strong person to be able to accept this and choose to regardless of the ❤️ in their heart. Regardless of all this, ask yourself if this is something you can be ok with? Can you find healing? Find peace? I assure you this-- you deserve to be loved by a man 100%. One that wants to be with you and will pick and choose you willingly. One that can't stand to be without someone as amazing as you. You deserve all the love, faithfulness, and care in the world. You deserve to be happy. I know you aren't sure if you can open your heart and mind up to love again, but life has it's way. I know what I am about to say may be cliché, but healing does come within time. Just give yourself all the time and space you need to process these feelings and emotions. I wish you healing and happiness. Please take care of yourself and hang in there. ❤️
Thank you so much for your kind words and for validating what I'm feeling. It means a lot to hear that I deserve a love that chooses me 100%. Right now, the hardest part is the confusion, how can someone say I'm amazing and that they love me so much, yet decide that I’m not worth the risk of changing their life? I feel like I'm grieving a loss while he still wants to hold onto me as a 'friend,' but I know that would only keep breaking my heart. I’m trying to process that I gave my best to someone that didn’t want it, and it’s hard to imagine healing from this. Thank you for reminding me of my value when I feel like I’ve lost it
@Gabrielamtineo You say the confusion, yet it seems you get it. How can one stand 10 toes down against being with someone so amazing? Especially if this person is the one they claim to be so in love with. Please don't let his confusion confuse you. He's showing and telling you want he wants and it's not a relationship with you. His reason for wanting to keep you around as a friend, who knows. But you decide who to keep in your life and who you want around. After all, it is your life and your happiness matters. Know your worth and don't give up on love. There is a beautiful kinda love out there waiting on you that you deserve and I hope you get to experience it when the time comes. Xoxo. ❤️
@yourcaringconfidant You are right. I shouldn’t let his confusion become my own. It's hard to accept that someone can claim to love you while simultaneously walking away, but his actions are the ultimate truth. He chose his current life over a future with me, and I need to start choosing myself now. It will take time to rebuild my walls and then, hopefully, learn how to open them for the right person someday. Thank you for being a light in such a dark moment for me. I will try my best to remember my worth
@Gabrielamtineo My pleasure. I truly wish you all the best!
Gabriel,
I'm sorry what you went through , I can relate, but just know your gorgeous and you deserve better, you deserve someone steady who know what he wants .
Thank you so much for your kind words. It’s hard to see that right now when I feel so broken, but I know deep down that I need someone steady. Someone who doesn't have to think twice about being with me. It helps to know I’m not alone in feeling this way. I appreciate the support.
@Gabrielamtineo the guy told me he need to week to fix everything cuz he can never find a woman like me we we both know he is cheating not fixing ,am having anxiety and headache everyday,
He ckeary don't want to commit to you but want you available for future benefits cuz ge knows you are kind
Heal slowly am currently try to
@honestFriend2724 Thank you for sharing your experience. It's really hard because I know he truly cares for me and his feelings are real, which makes the situation even more confusing. It’s not that he’s a bad person; it’s just that he’s choosing his current life and I’m left with this immense void. It hurts to be told you're amazing but at the same time be told 'goodbye' as a partner. I'm just trying to survive the anxiety and this deep sadness right now. I hope we both find peace soon.
