How do I avoid losing a relationship while working through my issues
Hello family,
This is a bit long so I'm just going to dive in.
There's a girl that I was with about 10 to 11yrs ago when we were in college. We ended up going our separate ways until we reconnected towards the end of last June. We chatted and decided to link up on the 4th of july. We reconnected very quickly and things were strong. It quickly within a 2 month spand turned into us saying we go together. We had a disagreement and things became a bit toxic. I'm not a fan of the way we spoke to each other and most of all I don't like how angry I became. (Only speaking about my actions) i was angry and didn't know how to properly acknowledge and manage my feelings. For a week or two we didn't talk or text and I began working on myself again. I know I have bad habits and tramas from previous relationships and I want to put energy into addressing them, understanding them, and eventually putting them behind me. We recently began talking again and I don't want to repeat old behaviors. We spoke of giving each other space without completely disconnecting but we are not truly giving each other space because we still desire each other.
I don't know if we should stay apart until we have a better handle on ourselves (this something we both don't want but in the back of my mind I wonder if this is the best way forward for me)? Should we still talk and enjoy each other but with boundaries in place? And what kind of boundaries could we put in place? I'm just not sure how to handle this and I don't want to mess this up. Thoughts please and thank you.
Wow, this is clearly my first posting. Smh.
@FreshStartFreddy a good relationship is supporting you to become a better person. Normally people will judge other instead of himself.. but you clearly a wise man that speak on yourself. Which mean you already examine yourself that you are not who you are anymore.. you are losing yourself… my suggestion is be blunt and honest but remember to keep your tone calm when you talk to your GF.. everyone need second chance or third chance .. so sit down and talk before make any move… if she didnt want to understand or want to work it out then it wont work out because relationship need 2 person work it out
@FreshStartFreddy
How can you or do you define when each other has worked things out?
Life and time waits for no one. If you want to be together then work on yourselves while still being together. Many on a break to figure things out is a foot out the door. Imagine if you worked on a few things.... get back together and some other life situation makes you question your conclusions all over again.
While in theory it would be nice to take time outs in life .... the game goes on with or without you putting yourself on the sidelines.
I find i can still work on my things by carving out time in a walk or while doing something like driving / biking etc. but time away when you join back in no one is in the same place as when you took a time out.
Thank you. That's good advice.