How many of you have been through the same situation as me?
Hello everyone, hope ya'll are having (If not great) a fine day.
So I belong a humble Pakistani family and most people consider the father as the sole provider in our culture. But my father, don't even get me started on it. He provides, but he has this really bad habit of looking for shortcuts instead of finding the solution to a problem..
In case of any occasion, he doesn't have the sense to plan ahead and be ready to spend. I'm 21 F, and I pay my own college fee, even half of my sister's school fee. Education is the basic need of a child, which he never fulfilled for me. But he's atleast doing it for my sister now. I work at an International software company (whilst also studying), I have big plans for future and I really want to migrate to another country. For all this you need a lot of money. I'm already saving up for the future. I don't want to ruin myself or my sister by having nothing on my hand. He expects me to invest in his business plan. Which I don't want to do.
This comes out of his mouth sometimes in frustration as a poison that's slowly consuming me.
It's my personal stability that's at stake, which I just can't let go. How many of you been through the same situation? Do you guys have any valuable advice for me to cope?
I understand trying to be as responsible as you can and save for your future goals. I'm not in the same boat but I have tried to be as self reliant as I could be.
The only thing I can think of is to try and be strong and/or say that the money has already been invested and is tied up.
Or actually think about doing that, bonds, isas, whatever is possible and live off the savings..
I don't know if that's any good but I hope that ultimately you'll figure things out and get some peace because that's what you deserve :)
@fairmindedHuman3199
It takes an immense amount of resilience to pay your own college fees, help with your sister’s education, and work at an international software company all at once. When you have grown up watching someone look for shortcuts instead of building stability, it makes sense that you are fiercely protective of your own savings.
In a culture where children are often expected to blindly fund their parents' ventures, saying "no" can trigger immense guilt-tripping. Instead of arguing or defending your choice, you could say, "My money is currently locked up in a long-term savings plan," or "Work has been tight and my income is inconsistent right now, so I don't have liquid cash to invest," can help defuse the pressure without escalating the conflict. You don't need to prove to him why his plan won't work; you can just make your money invisible to him.
so now hows ur life?
It's fine for now, thanks for asking. I'm planning on moving out. It's going to be a hard task, I know, but it seems like the only option to retain whatever's left of my mental peace.
