How to Keep Your Cool in the Face of Conflict

How to Rise Above the Conflict in Conflicts of Interest

Try the following three conflict resolution tactics instead of self-medicating with argument.

1. R.E.P.A.I.R. a Relationship. We repeat what we don't repair. Follow these steps in order, beginning by recognizing your part in the fray. As an example, consider a blow-out with your partner over their constant tardiness to events you attend together. They reply to your frustration with fuzzy logic like “We’re already late, so chill. You can’t be late twice!”

• Recognize that you must communicate early and often regarding expectations.
• Engage them in the process by asking what you can do to help them better prepare and to improve their time management.
• Present yourself as willing to assist and support them in jointly reducing late arrivals.
• Amend anything you’ve done or said to contribute to the issue and Apologize if necessary.
• Inquire about how you don’t want to repeatedly criticize them over this and ask how it feels to them when you do.
• Remind them that you value the Relationship.

2. Use Some LOL: A Time-Honored Strategy in the Repertoire of Nonviolence. Used respectfully, humor can quickly turn conflict into an opportunity for common ground. It allows you to get your point across without raising the other person’s defenses or hurting their feelings. Humor isn’t an instant fix for conflict, but it’s a worthy tactic in assuaging tensions and shifting perspectives. Humor should be beneficial for everyone involved. Before you unleash your mic-dropping material, first consider your motive and determine the pulse of the group. Know your audience. If you’re unsure, assume it’s comprised of grandmas and Girl Scouts.

3. ​Let Your Body Do the Talking: Power Posing and the Side-by-Side. You can deescalate tensions by adjusting your body language to communicate to yourself and to the other person a willingness to be open, flexible, and reasonable. Stand confidently, but not aggressively. No need for a menacing T-pose or karate crane stance. Think self-assuredness, not double leg sweep. Avoid crossing the arms, face scowling, angry or dismissive tones of voice, shouting, and literal finger-pointing.

Read the complete article available at Psychology Today!

Reflection:

What are your thoughts on these tips?

#Relationships #Arguments #EmotionalRegulation

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