How to kill attraction...
hi
I am a 17-Year-old, and as my age suggests, I am a teenager. I've had two crushes since I was 16. Now I feel that I should somehow kill this attraction or it will hurt me in the long run, Mentally and academically too. My last crush humiliated me in front of others. This triggered my social anxiety once again. I'm just fed up with myself. I feel lonely and miserable most of the time because others are having the best time of their life (or maybe I am delusional ). Idk, I just want to throw these feelings out of the window and focus on my studies and career, yet I don't know how to do it. please suggest some ways.
Also: Whenever I have a crush, my inner voice says that it is highly unethical to have these feelings and I am a criminal. It's Just me or everybody thinks like this?
@ApurvaSingh123 hey it is very very normal to crush on people at your age.
I would worry more the last sentence. You may want to get some help there.
@ApurvaSingh123
You are not delusional and most teens want to portray the best time of their lives etc seldom is.
Honestly simple attraction you can not turn on or off like a faucet. It is your choice if you want to focus on studies and school and future plans do it. You might have some distraction but the time or effort you give this distraction is up to you.
I think driven students and those who know relationships can derail ever the best made plans feel it is something they should avoid or such.... but it is not something you should feel bad about it is natural to be attracted to others or have someone attracted to you.
Okay but.... How to even make a choice.... When I feel attracted, ( might sound wierd) I cannot think of letting that person go. And then later, they'll just exclude me. ( That kinda hurts). And then again cycle repeats.
How do I stop myself in the stage when I absolutely want look and talk to that person.
@ApurvaSingh123
Attraction as a young person IMO is like that ...
honestly you think they are great and only after a time it fizzles and you see they are NOT who you thought they were.... be realistic with yourself....... do they have the same attraction.?
i cannot count how many times one person is infatuated with another and they are NOT as interested they think in short term they may want to hang out with you etc but they do not feel the same or they do not see a path forward. .......Then it ends badly and someone gets hurt.....
when you say when you are attracted you "cannot think of letting them go" ... how does that work for you? ..... do you plan out a happy ever after without any of their input?
it takes two people in a relationship and lots of things to work out and overcome ...... differences in opinion or thoughts ideas on future wanted etc.
The cycle repeats if one is thinking just because there is an attraction you can start on step 8 instead of step !.
@ApurvaSingh123 this girl (me) once I was so hung up on a guy I opened a journal and filled it with poems about him.
We grew up. I discovered he was gay.
I am married and he is a corporate exec.
No lives got ruined by me crushing. I went on to make National Honor Society and half tuition scholarship to a good college.
You will live!!!
If it bothers you go workout until you are tired. Or go running or whatever you dig.
These feelings are typical around your age.
