How to stop childish behavior
Hello! I'm new here and this is my first post.
Im seeking therapy because the girl I am dating told me that we both need therapy if we want to start a relationship. She pointed out that it's mainly because of my childish attitude towards her whenever she says or does something that disappoints me.
What I normally do is that I distance myself from her. I stop talking, I stop interacting with her and I feel cold towards her whenever I don't like something from her.
She told me that she feels like I am an emotional burden and that as she is right now, she can't have it. She has some family issues that she hasn't opened up with me yet, she is dealing with unemployment and recently her best friend passed away.
Thanks to recent discoveries, I found out that I behave childish because it has been the only way I got a reaction from her. I tried talking but she either doesn't listen or won't talk about it.
I would like some feedback from you and I would appreciate reading your advice.
Hello! Thank you for your post.
I tried expressing my concerns directly to her but I think it hasn’t been as effective as I would like. She even told me why didn’t I tell her and sometimes I did but I didn’t get any response from her. She either ignores it or won’t say anything.
I would like to improve our communication and seeking help together and I will suggest it next time I see her.
@Jodu
So she has issues some she has not even told you about and thinks you need therapy to be in a relationship with her?
I do not think distancing your self or being silent is a bad thing and IF that is the only thing that works on her...that is what parents do find what type of reaction works on the child best ... it sounds like the childish label is on the wrong person....
if you want to learn more about yourself in therapy or have things you would like to talk about fine....
if this is just to appease her......... tell her therapy showed you that you do this because it is it is all that works on HER. her inability to listen or communicate is NOT something you can fix with self therapy.... join a dating app or keep looking.
Wow. Thanks for these direct words.
I understand that is easier to dump her, but I really want us to work out or at least try together before giving up.
@Jodu
Good for you ..... i appreciate some one who does not take the easy way and wants to explore it before calling it off...
I just think sometimes people who have issues think they can fix their situation by asking their partner to do this or that and wonder why it did not work. Perhaps schedule a time to talk about how her therapy is going and share what you learned it might open her eyes.
@toughTiger6481,
True.
You won't fix your issues by focusing on someone else's "issues". It's a two way street. Fix your own issues and if you can help.each other with that, great, then there's a common foundation.
