How would you dance around this?
I am in a relatively new relationship of 3 months and so far things are going very well. We’ve both talked at length in terms of how deep our investment is at with our commitment to each other. She is a bit reserved as she is “newly” divorced of two years and I get that. I myself have been for 6 years.
On two or three occasions she wanted to talk but I was unavailable (falling asleep, sick etc). A majority of our daytime communication is via text while we usually video call each other in the evenings. By talking she just means normal talk etc. nothing deep or significantly important. Despite me saying I will always be there for her she thinks these times I wasn’t. She says she she wants to talk like I want her to think about me as her other half. If I’m sick I could at minimum text her to let her know I’m not well and sleeping it off instead of “ignoring” her.
My struggle is, is if that is the case, she sometimes takes hours to get back to me when I text her making me feel like I’m being ignored. To me it goes both ways. She could quickly and let me know she’s busy. Likewise, I want to talk with her like I want her to think I’m her other half. I want to call her out on it (kind of like calling the kettle black) but not sure how to do it tactfully or making it look like I’m trying to turn it around and point fingers at her.
@1in8billion Yeah, no…There are a million things more important than getting hung up on texting response time. We were not built as humans to connect via text. It causes so many misunderstandings and anxiety. Blame the technology, pot kettle black ain’t worth it.
@1in8billion
I think it is unrealistic for people to put time frames on text response or anything like that.... i have had times text did not go through in the time frame i thought. either me or recipient in a dead zone......... some people do not check phone constantly.
I agree if you respond even to say cannot talk feeling ill going to bed.... you might have to say you will not be responding for x amount of time
Text instead of calls should be respond when you can ........not urgent like a phone call might be.
Maybe just have a discussion about it in abstract to gauge her thoughts on text and respond time expectations. phones and ability to communicate anytime ... is not a leash.
You have a few options. Let her know how much it means to you to hear from her and then see if anything changes. If not, you now know that it is her texting pattern - you then decide if this is something you are happy with or if it is not fulfilling. Trying to change a person is hard and usually not a great sign for compatibility.
Also, leave texting aside and arrnage to meet in person? That way you can both be in a space where you can give each other full attention rather than read off a screen.