I am scared of mine and my bf future because of his dreams

My bf wants to be a youtuber and I am really scared, I am scared of so many things and I don’t want to leave him, I want to spend the rest of my life with him but he even told me that he is not gonna stop doing it for me, I wasn’t expecting him anyway but him saying it really hurts me, he he saying i love you all to his viewers i asked him to just say love you all because this “I” is really important to me but he doesn’t want to, he also calls his viewers special but he was calling me that, now I can’t feel special anymore he is really hurting me because of that, if he is calling some random people special and also calling me special even tho I did so many things for him does that means i never was special to him, does that means he doesn’t actually love me because he is saying i love you to just random people, i can’t stand the thought that i will share him to many many people, he is acting the same to them like he is to me and i thought the special version of him is only for me and that’s also what was making it special, it feels like youtube is stealing him from me, i only have him i don’t want to lose him but he puts so much time into it so much effort more than what he puts into me, he doesn’t have time for me because of that, we are long distance so it’s even harder, i just don’t feel loved by him, i don’t feel special and i don’t think i ever will