I broke up with a single mom

I (25M) spent the last 2 years with a (23F) single mom of 2. I didn’t mind her having kids because I was madly in love and was willing to be there for them.

Later, she told me about her past. Her ex sexually abused her when she was 13, which led to the 2 kids, and he's long abandoned them. At first, she said he was 2 years older, but we later found out he was actually 5 years older (idk how such thing could happen), which was supposedly illegal back then for child abuse. I couldn’t understand why she stayed with him for 4 years, but she said she didn’t want to repeat her parents’ broken family and that he threatened to kill himself if she left. There were also excuses for why no legal action was taken. Maybe I'm gullible because these were all just allegations from her, but I believed her since whenever he was brought up, she would freeze and go quiet, which are signs of someone reliving a trauma. And we’re supposed to believe someone when they say they were raped or abused, right? So I was compassionate enough to understand especially since she was just a kid who couldn't think right.

I encouraged her to take legal action, or at least fight for child support. I spent days researching, getting legal advice, and guiding her. I was emotionally invested in everything. I helped her through the process with her ex, supported her with the kids, and accepted them into my life. This wasn’t easy for me, but I take full responsibility for what I signed up for.

She tried therapy but wasn’t consistent and never followed through, saying it was exhausting and triggering. So we quit. I controlled myself even though I was so riled up. I respected her choice to focus on healing. But then one day, when she was short on money for the kids’ tuition, and her ex, being the deadbeat he is, didn’t provide any support (i witnessed their convo), it angered her and she changed her mind and decided to go after him. I knew this was coming, my emotions came back, but I still supported her.

It would have been fine if our relationship was healthy, but it wasn’t. We fought about big and small things, and I was always the one trying to fix things while she would give up, or in moments when I got fed up, we would be on and off. I was only hoping for things to change. They did temporarily, but apparently it only got worse over time. She went back to blocking me on social media. When we started living together, she began throwing things in anger, insulting me, walking out on me, and slamming doors. Once she even left me sitting alone on a date after saying she would be right back. I kept brushing it off, but it built up over time.

The last straw was when she told me to pack my stuff and leave, then gave back every gift I had given her in a moment of anger, including the gifts I had given the kids while they were literally there. I feel so disrespected and can’t believe she would bring them into this. It’s like none of it matters. How about the bond I built with them, the hours in traffic, cooking for them, taking them to school, being there for her, and all the effort I put into helping her through her baggage? She blamed me for everything, why she is the way she is now, and refused to take any accountability for below-the-belt things, acting completely unaware because to her it’s fine and justifiable. I may not be perfect; I have my shortcomings, but it’s nowhere near abusive. Her trauma and mental health don’t give her an excuse to treat me badly or cut off our relationship with the kids.

Then it hit me: she stayed longer with her ex to avoid a broken family, so why couldn’t she fight just as hard to fix things with me? I’m not abusive like he was. So she should have avoided us being a broken family, especially since the kids and I are so close. I’m dumbfounded.

Please validate my thought process and decision, and what you think about the situation.