I broke up with my girlfriend... but was it the right thing to do?
Well, I ended things with my girlfriend. It wasn't because of toxicity, infidelity, or anything bad—in fact, we only had maybe three arguments in our entire three-year relationship.
But the real reason I broke up with her was that she hid a large debt from me for the three years we were together. I'm her co-signer, and while I'm trying to save for my apartment and my surgeries, she was only thinking about trips and spending. I guess we just weren't on the same page.
I became the therapist and the shield for all her family drama (her sisters and her mother). Carrying crises that weren't mine was exhausting; all I'm looking for is peace, even if I feel a little selfish about it.
As much as I love her personality and her laugh, I just wasn't feeling much physical desire for her anymore.
Finally, she would talk about marriage and kids, and it just gave me anxiety. My silence was my instinct telling me I didn't want to 'inherit' all that chaos, you know?
Sometimes I doubt if I did the right thing
@creativeWalker9583
What you have described are all valid reasons to leave or break up. It is all about your peace and honest reflection. I do not think we need a specific item major item. We can love someone but fall out of love with them.
The leaving chaos the not being on same page with finances or what we see in future is very important. Too many imo stay and hope or want to believe beyond reason......that things would change. Too late we see all that changes is your giving up your dreams or wants and missing the life you want.
I think it's normal to have doubts, you were together a long time. However it also sounds like you've thought it through with your list of reasons.
You don't need to justify it. The breakup happened because you were not happy. Give it time :)
We learn more from breakups hopefully than a long time in the relationship.
Please ask her to reflect on worst things about your relationship and right down most important. Go to friends or family who ever you think will be supportive and read it.
Then ask to right down your biggest concerns and give it to her mum in a sealed envelope.
