Identity in a Relationships
Disclaimer “Each relationship experience is unique and personal.”
We all know the truth. It is impossible to have a relationship and not give some form of yourself into it. All relationships will demand some sort of compromise or sacrifice.
But how much is it too much?
Nobody wants to wake up one day in a relationship and be like ‘Where did I go? Who am I anymore?’
How do we maintain a relationship and not lose our individual identity?
What is Self-Identity?
Our identity is formed at birth. It is fluid and adjusting throughout our lives. It is a collection of beliefs. Past, present, and future concept of self.
What are some causes of identity loss in relationships?
Lack of Boundaries
Low self-worth and/or Low self-esteem
Codependency
With some understanding of the potential causes, we can prevent and protect our identity.
Here are some possible ways to help:
Invest in yourself and your passions. Things like education, health, fitness,
Another is to stay connected with family. Our families might be dysfunctional and weird but they are still our families. They are our roots, what made us, and will help us to remember what we were before our relationship.
Find inner peace with letting go. It is better to lose someone who isn’t healthy for your self-identity. Our lives are precious and our time is finite. Do not waste precious time.
You are entitled to your opinion in everything.
What ways can you build self-esteem, self-worth, and self-empowerment?
How are you feeling?
What is most important to you in a relationship?
What ways can you build self-esteem, self-worth, and self-empowerment?
Even in a relationship I think it is important to know who you are ..... if you start to feel being lost take time to review your own opinions / feelings/ likes and dislikes.......
I think many find or throw themselves into work but that in itself has danger if you too closely see yourself as what you do for a living
be empowered by when you really need it take time for yourself do not put it off too "when x is done etc"
How are you feeling?
As life changes and your roles change .... maybe kids left / maybe becoming a grandparent/ job loss or even reaching certain ages can set off a depression or need for self discovery ... in the process of one of those transitions is a time to get to really know you again.
What is most important to you in a relationship?
attention some people seem to lose that in long term knowing a person then just taking them for granted happens .... losing sight of them and their changes in the midst of keeping track of your self.
@toughTiger6481
Thank you so much for sharing.
You brought up some deep but great points to ponder.
And I have fell victim to where my identity was my job. Thankfully it was brought to my attention.
I think this is a great post for me to think about! My wife and I were very young when we started dating, I was 20 and she was 22 and we were both still living at home with our parents. I think we have both grown and changed a lot since then (it was over 10 years ago) and I think maybe some of our core beliefs have changed as well. I’ve been trying to do more self reflection lately and I think this post has reminded me that I need to figure out who I am now. I’ve been with my wife almost my entire adult life and I need to remember to be true to myself first and not always put my relationship first.
@MDF7
That is wonderful to hear :)
Sometimes it is the Journey that is more important than the Destination.
@Barltik2065
Reflecting one ones changing focus of priority in developing a positive identity as part of ones maturing personality is virtually like a full time job - it can take up much of your critical thinking and all of your mental capacity ... but be sure, it's energy well spent to do a good job at it, in or out of any relationship. When you think about the various aspects of personal development, understanding your own abilities of clearly directing your self discovery process and learning how to pay attention to detail while you are at it, may also raise your abilities to share such insights with your partner, and others around you. Making this learning process an integral part of your continued path through life can greatly enhance your feeling of having found the road to building a growing and dynamic identity able to discover and impart positive values around you along the way ...
@Franto
Thank you for sharing. Such great insight
@Barltik2065
You are welcome ... any time! :)
I just love dwelling on the enormous potential of mental health, as it reaches a growing confidence in people to become their own agents of active mind developers on a daily basis, replacing their conventional, greatly uninspired way of thinking, dominated by visual distractions and constant mind pollution, with the idea of sharpening their critical thinking abilities incorporating some advanced concepts of mental health as spelled out by Peter Joseph in his book 'The New Human Rights Movement' ...