Idk if it’s all in my head or not
Hi, thank you to anyone who decides to read this and reply with advice, I really appreciate it.
I (27f) have been with my partner (27m) for almost 2 years now. He’s a great man in a lot of ways and a great partner. He’s never given me a reason to feel like he’s unhappy, unsatisfied in our relationship or cheated. I really have no big complaints about him or our relationship. The only consistent complaint that I do have is that I think he’s checks out other woman. He doesn’t stare at other woman but to me I think he does choose to glance over at other woman if they’re attractive enough. It’s something I’ve expressed to him several times that I don’t like but he says he’s just looking around and observing his environment.
It’s hard for me to believe him because I know how men can be (I know this a bad mindset to have) but I just feel like I’ve caught him do it several times. At the same time, I am aware people are just constantly looking around too bc I do that myself and he really is an observant person. The things he causally observes leaves me surprised sometimes.
i also struggle with insecurity. I honestly can admit this and I also feel like maybe that’s why I think he’s looking at other woman. At the same time, i think I constantly try to see if I catch him trying to check out other woman because I believe it so much. I also understand we’re humans and we’re going to find other people attractive, it’s human nature. I’ve noticed other men before but to me it’s different because I don’t think I go out my way to check people out like him.
I have a bad habit of blowing up on him and breaking up with him just to eventually change my mind and take him back. I know this is a bad habit to have and I really am trying to fix it but it’s currently a working progress. I don’t know if all of this is in my head or if he’s really choosing to do this. I find checking other people out in front of your significant other very disrespectful and I do not want to tolerate any type of disrespect.
I honestly don’t know what I should do. I love him and deep down I don’t want to break up with him. We tell each other we want to be each others life partner and I know that comes with a lot of forgiveness but at the same time I don’t want to be taken advantage of or taken for a fool.
If anyone can share any piece of advice I’ll be so happy. I just don’t know what to do or thing.
@itsme003
I think it is not fair to assume it is just Men and the idea that any looking or appreciating a attractive person is a problem ...you admit you look just not to the extent you feel he does. maybe because there are fewer attractive men..lol Or for a male to be attractive we tend to look deeper then looks across a room. I guess the whole advertising and fashion industry should quit using attractive people.
Where did the idea that when in a relationship a person has blinders on to anything or anyone beyond their partner? ... it is not realistic. If looking is so dangerous and people fear it could or may lead to something else then the trust / faith in the relationship may need work.
I do not think we should ever think things are only in our head. you have brought it up he deflected to just taking in sights........ You can chose to focus on this and bring it up over and over or chose to believe he is lucky to be with you and trust .... because a relationship with trust issues is very stressful.