I don’t feel like me anymore
I found out that she cheated on me and I’ve been all over the place since. I knew something was different and I expressed my concerns. I wish I’d never gotten confirmation! I can’t sleep because all I can think about is how she betrayed me. I did everything I was supposed to do as a husband and it feels like it was all for nothing.
@DawuudSr
It is common to be all over the place in thoughts when finding out something like this.
I have been there... in my opinion it is better to have a blunt talk about what happened where things went off the tracks, instead of overthinking and making assumptions.
There is no one size fits all of why ...
I find it interesting you wrote you "did all you were suppose to as a husband."......what does that mean to you?
Does it mean the same for both of you? What was she looking for ? What was missing in your relationship? Some will say nothing but that might be from your standpoint only .......
Is part of you disappointed that you did not see things until it got to that point? Where you go from here is a rough patch of road.... do you want to reconcile or breakup.....?
one of the things that was hard for me was the fact that I saw the shift. I asked her about the disconnect and she said she didn’t know what I was talking about.
I asked her about the friend she cheated with and she claimed there was nothing there. A month later when it came out she said she didn’t know why she did it.
@DawuudSr
I have read every article and study i can find and it is all over the place on infidelity ... deep down i think most know why even if they cannot explain it or we do not want to acknowledge it.
My spouse had what they thought were reasons...did not make sense until the tables were turned ... i was struggling with health and work issues.... i had a mad on for everyone and he thought we were over... he did not know or see me spiraling in depression and i did not see he was feeling like i already left.
now years later after we worked thru his betrayal...
he is in my shoes .......so caught up in his issues health and mental issues ...... he ignores me ...he thinks i will wait .....and when a friend listens and validates me, tells me i look good makes me feel good about myself .... the only thing that stopped me from crossing a line was the opportunity did not come up as he was farther away and also involved.
I believe if we are standing on a line .. We Know .... i think when a partner is acting different or something is off .......do not listen to " it is nothing." ... or disregard the flags or clues there...
Speaking up and being honest is so important. ...stopping and seeing issues before they spiral.... finding out what they Need... not guessing ......if you do not know and asking gets you non answers it is because your spouse thinks it is insulting that you should know without being told. People change and they both need to speak up and share with their partner. Tell them before it is a confession.
Sorry if i rambled i just think if my experience could help anyone it is worth it.