I don't know how to forgive my boyfriend
I found porn on his computer. When I talked to him about it he said that he needs help and that he's been addicted to porn for 8 years.
We've been together for 3 years. I told him from the start that porn is a deal breaker as it would make me feel cheated on.
He said he tried to quit but would keep going back to it. He wants to stop but didn't know how to get help.
I was staying at his and his parents house. I stormed off and he got his parents and told them everything. I was heartbroken. After a while we talked ad he said he wants to give it up for me and himself and we made a plan.
It's been 2 weeks now since he's stopped, but I don't live with him and I worry he's lying to me a en though hes usually truthful.
He showed me how it says online that if he stops for 90 days then he'd be completely over it.
Im trying to support him because I love him. But when I ask how it's going, he still says he's always tempted to watch but doesn't. It makes me so angry hearing him say he's still tempted.
To me it feels like he's been cheating on me the whole time, looking at other women and jerking off.
Some days I love him and some days I really hate him. He broke my trust and made me doubt he loves my body.
I can't sleep some nights and I don't know what to do.
I want to scream and break things. And I want to hurt him like he hurt me but I know it's not right.
I don't know what to do.
@Mtotta
The reality is we cannot watch a person 24/7 to make sure they do not do something we do not want them to. If a true addiction like most all addiction they need to want to stop for themselves not for you or something else. Sure people can quit for a promise........ but the chance of doing it again IMO is greater IF they did for someone else. if he does for you and one good fight he knows this will tick you off so why not do it again.
Is it the porn that is issue or the masturbation?
solo is normal ...... would it be cheating if he just used his imagination vs watching or looking at pictures? maybe you need to think what is your real concern.
Maybe trust in yourself that it is something he needs to work on for him NOT a reflection on you.
My issue with it is that he jerked off whilst watching it. That he felt the urge to see other women when he had me.
He said he wants to quit for himself even if I decide to leave him.
I don't know how to deal with my frustration. He broke my trust and the only way I think it can be fixed or close to what it was after the 90 days. But what do I do with myself till then?
I Completely understand the situation, but imagine this: more than half of the world has been addicted to porn. 73% of teens have already watched it. It’s no coincidence, it’s the devil tempting us everyday for him to reach his goal, apart us from God (I respect if you are not catholic). It’s difficult to escape from it, I say it because I was once addicted and watched it once having a boyfriend. It felt horrible, because I felt so guilty and filthy, like I was betraying him (AND I WAS!). Mistake after mistake, temptation after temptation I realized my love for God and my boyfriend was greater than that so that motivated me to finally leave it. The women or men he (your boyfriend) watched on those videos were merely pure temptation, people that use their bodies, and know how to use them to make you feel certain sensations or think certain thoughts that finally incite masturbation. Porn is made specially for that, for you to become addicted, like *** or tik tok. Unfortunately, we humans are weak, you boyfriend is no exception. But, believe me, he does love you. I tell you this because I was your boyfriend once. Porn addiction is the most horrible thing that you can ever be addicted to, it consumes you and degrades you. But thankfully, we are not alone. I had God, my boyfriend..And he has you! You do well on forgiving him, may this be the test for your love, help him beat temptation and sin, don’t let the devil win the war, the only thing he wants is to end your relationship. I respect you religion, but what helped me the most was getting close to God, praying. I can tell you I felt his presence and he helped me end my addiction. I hope things can get better ❤️
