I dont think he even cared

I posted awhile ago about my breakup with my ex boyfriend of three years 4 in October but I neveg talked about the weight of it

When i first met him I immediately liked him he was someone who could talk to me for hours and we could have fun together played soccer at the park,played video games, joke around it was perfect then I started to get my depression

I dont like summer, summer hols alot fo weight ny best friend passed away in the summer my brother died 5 days after my birthday in summer, i lost my other best friend in summer then I lost my aunt in the summer

I cried alot summer had weight on top of that i told him being with me isn't easy im still trying to be better for not onjy myslef but ny fanimy as well as I try to remember the good no matter how bad things can get or go tomorrow is always a new day

He listened then immediately didn't, I wss being overworked long hours little pay alot of responsibilities bills, school, food,rent on my own i couldbt afford school so I dropped out that made it worse, he saw and still chose to talk badly about me to my family and friends, my friends told me my famiky judged me we fixed things but then it happned again

I was doing great I found a bettwr job new routine making friends he hated it he would be upset and ghost me for hanging out with friends were two year together by this point and he hated how much my friends and I would do together he hated it he hated me going out and mlaing friends

I went to dinner one night and he was mad at me so mad he talked badly about me to my family he was very upset they reminded him my friend wasnt into me like that he isn't straight and he told me he was upset that we should be doing those things together yet he never wanted to

He never wanted to go out like that which was fine I liked anhtbing we did but as I kept going out and also going out with him he got more selfish he wouldn't try and plan full date anymore he stopped trying with me and honestly looking back he was never into me until we had got intimate he had only liked me for intimacy

That hurt me alot he never complimented me he never made me feel special or heard he wouldn't talk to me about feeling or emotions he wouldn't try were 3 years in

I will not lie I ended up cheating on him the guy I went out with told me mot only was i important but I coudl do whatever I wanted, I told him I wanted to go back to school become an artist and then move somewhere huge and meet othe artists he told me I should and he would help me

My ex told me i was only wasting more money and its to late for that i waste gonna be anything anyways he told me it was too late for me. That hurt me alot

Looking back we were different I grew and he wouldnt grow with me I overworked and stressed out just for him to still push me over and try and make me feel even worse

Fast forward im in college again im an art student again im painting again i love it. The guy i was seeing is now in school with me hes a full time painter hes so good at it he still encourages me to do my best we stopped seeing each other he understood I needed to slef discover he supports me fully

My ex constantly talks badly about me and says ill never change ill never be enough that im.not worth it but the truth of that all is I wish him the best one day *** find someone who is like him like the slow life but not me I want to learn I Want to grow I want to bloom more, I believe i am meant for more then just being someone's wife at 23 (i am 24 now) im meant for more then just having kids

I will admit what I did is wrong cheating is horrible but I'm learning and growning for the better cause now I feel less stressed out I feel seen and warmer