I feel like I screwed up
hello ,
I am a student i study abroad and before I left I had a 5 year relationship with a girl in my country. in my new country I have no new friends and everyone says to learn the language it's best to find friends I tried many apps like hello talk and I even stupidly used dating apps but I made sure to put i am in relationship. but I have roommates who recorded me scrolling in those dating apps and tried to send them to my girlfriend. I told her about it and she feels suspicious why I would use those apps. I told her that it's just to make friends, she is now feeling I have cheated and I feel like its something I can't fix I know what I did was wrong I guess something can't be fixed. I love her a lot can't bare to lose her .long distance is horrible. I feel like hard to forgive myself for screwing up.
@turquoiseWriter7732
I think there is a few things here. the finding friends to practice and learn a language is valid. conversational language learning is helped by talking to native speakers. Dating sites may not have been best choice, maybe an app for groups activities or interests may have been a better choice.
What kind of "friends " try to record and send to GF these are not your friends.
This is not cheating. Sadly, so many have conflated the word cheating to absurdity. IMO this has caused so many problems in relationships. If she is that insecure and untrusting after 5 years together, I am surprised she did not break up when you went to study in another country. This is a situation that you did not have intent. give yourself a break
thank you for replying , yeah those were no friends that's what hurts the most in a way to realize that people who are closest are the one who hate you the most and jealous of you the most.
Thank you again for replying.
You should reassure her. Tell her everything in a calm way. The choice of the app was not good. But you didnt intend to hurt her. So dont be so hard on yourself. Reassurance is the most important thing. Reassure her again and again genuinelt. I hope she will understand.
I can see where she’s coming from. Long distance is hard and well finding out you’re on dating apps just seems odd. The best thing you can do is reassure her, and try and explain the situation to her. I’m not sure about the type of person she is - but if I was her in this situation I would just want reassurance, but don’t overdo it to the point where you constantly apologising and saying you love her. Because sometimes when you overexplain it seems like you’re trying to cover something up. So you should know her best - so do the little things you know makes her smile.
As for you- I have no experience in studying abroad.
But maybe instead of dating apps, try getting involved in volunteer work and that’s an easy way to meet people. Maybe take up a hobby and join a club. The only way you gonna get friends is if you put yourself out there abit. And I know it’s not an easy thing. But you have to try a little bit and push yourself out of your comfort join
@turquoiseWriter7732 Im so sorry that happened to you and its wrong for your roomates to do that I hope everything works out with you two