I feel like crab for wanting to go out
I might be a complete *** but i really could use some advice
I (21f) became legal this year so i started going out to clubs with my girlfriend of two years (21f)
At first we used to have fun together but then we started having problems but we compromised on a lot of things and reached a middle ground on some topics
We got into a lot of problems (other reasons)so we took a break and got back together
Later on i found out that at the time we were on a break she got sexually assaulted
She has been traumatized, i tried to be there for her in every way that i can
However after a little bit of time passed by i noticed that her anger and jealousy in clubs started getting more and more intense
I told her that i understand how this is triggering so she doesn’t need to come with me and i’ll keep her updated and call her and send videos to her ect ect.. but she tells me that she can’t just let me go without her cause she’ll worry and she’ll end up following me even if i kept updating her and calling her
We don’t have gay bars in my country, i dress the way she likes and i don’t talk to guys at ALL even if they were gay just to respect her
I do feel childish and selfish for still wanting to go out after what happened to her but I can’t help it
I was raised in a very very strict religious home and i just started living my life two years ago when i moved out
I feel like i am still too young and that i haven’t had enough fun in life especially that i want her to be my forever so breaking up is not on the table
Is there a possible solution or should i just stop being selfish and get rid the idea of going out all together?
@emotionalEyes872
No, the harsh reality is, what your gf is going through is awful, but she needs counselling and support, to find ways to heal and cope in her daily life.
You cannot make her happy, only she can do that.
Yes, you can support her, being understanding, being compassionate, but you don't have to stop talking to people, or dress anyway just because she says.
That's not healthy or fair.
If you are celebrating finally being you, you need to go out, and not have to video call her all night.
Relationships need trust, respect, honesty, and you cannot be in each others pockets all the time, you need your own space or you'll resent each other.
Wishing you both the best 💕💜
It can be a toxic combination when you know that you are a trustworthy person but you're being treated as though you're not trustworthy. I agree with the other comment that it's important to focus on building trust rather than sacrificing too much to accommodate the other. You yourself are just as important as the relationship itself (or more so, I would say). When you try to change your personality, hobbies and interests for your partner, it doesn't matter what their reason is for wanting you to change--you'll wake up one day and not recognize yourself.