I feel like it's all falling apart

Hi, new here 27F. My partner who I've been with for a many years now, doesn't feel like talking to me right now because he's "annoyed" with some things I've done that he hasn't pointed out just yet (we're meeting up soon to talk about it). For context, we were perfectly fine and joking around a few days ago until I knocked over his stuff off the table by accident. Random, I know. This is something that people wouldn't normally be mad about, but that was enough to make him mad at me and clearly annoyed with me for 2 days now, and now he says he doesn't know how he feels about me right now. We haven't spoken much since then and he's not talking to me like how he normally would (usually much more lighthearted) which makes me really sad. He says he still loves me but it's very hard to believe because I haven't felt that love since all of this happened, and after he says he still loves me he also says "well idk". Reading this in public made my heart sink, but I guess I just have to accept this. But my brain is telling me many negative things. I'm also going through some depression right now and I told him, but I don't feel as much concern from him and sounded more like an obligation to him to cheer me up.

Clearly there's some underlying issues we haven't talked about and we're not good with communication but right now it feels like our relationship is falling apart or my brain tells me he might break up with me over things he hasn't said yet. I've been beating myself up over this, and deep down I know I've done some stuff he's annoyed with and I admit it, I messed up. I'm very bad with confrontation and dealing with things like this, everytime I just clamp up and my brain starts to go blank so I never know what to say, and my body is forced to swallow my real feelings, hence the communication issue on my side. I'm probably overthinking this.. this might just be a temporary rough patch. But I'm bracing for the worst (break up). This is the first big hurdle we've had in years, but not the worst. It really sucks because we usually get along very well and we argue maybe once or twice a year only. I need the courage to start the conversation with him and stay calm all the way, but also to stand up for myself if needs be. I'm scared I might end up sounding like I'm gaslighting or whatever which is not my intention at all. I probably sound like I'm whining or something, but honestly all of this just sucks and it's giving me so much stress.

--sorry for the long rant and little context, I just don't know what to do right now and I have no one to reach out to..