I feel so alone
A few weeks ago I got dumped by my girlfriend of over 2 years, I feel like it’s all my fault, I wasn’t able to handle her depression as well as I should’ve, I’d like to say I was dealing with my own issues but I should’ve prioritized her over myself more. She became cold and distant for months before the breakup and I just kept clinging harder and harder and trying more and more to fix things but nothing worked, she wouldn’t open up anymore. She said there might be a chance we get back together in the future but I don’t know, I want to be a better person for her I don’t want anyone else, I’m scared she’s already found someone new as she’s always active on social media now when she wasn’t before. She kept the promise ring I gave her for hope and I don’t know what that means. I keep breaking no contact and I think she’s getting more annoyed by it, today she even threatened to block me if I continued, I don’t know what to do I feel so lost, there’s a hole in my heart where she used to be and I don’t think i’ll ever be able to fill it without her
@reservedTriangle7723
I am sorry you are going thru this. Sometimes when we are going thru things ourselves, we miss what others are facing. in a breakup situation .. relationships take 2 and it is never ALL the fault of one participant IMO.
If she became active on socials etc after the breakup people seldom if ever snap out of depression to be active in ways they were not before. I can understand the confusion as actions do not seem to match what you thought was going on. Honestly you may not find out just give her space, but I think the maybe in future or holding on to ring for "hope" is breadcrumbing keeping you on the line in case she is not finding someone else. Ask yourself are you willing to be a back up plan?
I don’t like the idea of just being a back up plan for her but I would take her back anytime, I know it’s not completely 100% my fault because she let her emotions build up instead of just telling me and allowing us to work through it but there were times where I wasn’t in the right headspace myself to help her with her issues, I really did see a future with her though, more than i’d ever seen with anyone else, I just want to hold out on the hope that one day if I become a better person for her, she’ll be back and we can be happy together again. The loneliness kills me at night, I keep viewing her *** reposts all the time, when I’m eating and I see something in her reposts about liking another man I just want to puke it all out, I know I shouldn’t be viewing her socials so much but I just can’t help myself
@reservedTriangle7723
If you want to be worthy and change you need to find who you want to be ... not what you think she wants. be the best person you are and if she cannot see it, she loses. viewing her posts IMO is ok if she did not want you to see she could have blocked your access. it also shows you she is not waiting or looking to get back together.
If she’s not waiting why give me hope, I really truly do want to hold onto the hope, I would really do anything for her, I want to make her happy. I’m trying to find who I want to be but it’s so difficult right now, I can only think about her and everything that I should’ve done differently. Maybe this is just the absolute dread of being single again talking but I don’t want a different person.
@reservedTriangle7723
we all dread starting over when we have a connection. I get that it sucks to move on ...
Trying to think of what you would do differently based on the past or what will make her happy is a short term bandage. Relationships take two people with different thoughts and needs. Sometimes when we only think we have to bend and change for their "happy" we lose our own happy. Sooner or Later you will grow tired of putting your feelings aside.
Hope is fine if you are realistic ... but as she is testing the waters sounds like she wants you waiting in case she does not find a new person.
@reservedTriangle7723It’s really painful to lose someone you care about deeply. It’s okay to feel lost and hurt right now. Try to be gentle with yourself and give yourself time to heal. Respecting her space, even if it’s hard, can help both of you. You’re not alone in this, and things can get better with time. Keep reaching out for support.
@reservedTriangle7723
Just some tactical idea. While your sorting this out, go the the gym if your not already. Start doing (start slow) heavy lifting. Doing that has a really good effect on the male brain when we are stressed or lonely. It gets your body in shape, but more important is gives food to the brain. Its a guy thing... try it.
I’m pretty much going to the same thing right now. I wish I knew how to not want to contact her even though I still love her and miss her
I’m pretty much going to the same thing right now. I wish I knew how to not want to contact her even though I still love her and miss her
