If they wanted to they would, right?
I’m in a funk, so is my marriage. Short story I carry the mental load of 5 people and I’m tired of parenting my partner. Weve been married 7 years and currently in the roommate stage. Any advice or words of encouragement? Yes I’ve already told them directly I don’t want to be their mother but it’s the same cycle. He’s a good person and I know he loves me but I’m just tired like beyond exhausted. I’m getting to the point I don’t want to come home from work and deal with 10 mini fires no one could handle on their own
@Cella510
It would seem that way to us huh....
"just do it " as the Nike slogan says but they are not sure if their attempt would be the same or as effective as yours they will ...Leave it for you ... your so good at it etc.
i have one of those .... my spouse thinks i like to do stuff all the time and i have control issues ... finally had it and just let the little fires burn.... told him that yes i do things in a specific manner because i found it worked better but if he thinks he can do better do it....
I know how frustrating and exhausting it can be but as long as you pick up all the pieces and juggle everything they figure "you got this..." the only way they step up is if forced to.
@Cella510
It sounds like you're carrying a tremendous load, both mentally and emotionally. It's completely understandable to feel exhausted and overwhelmed when you're handling so much. It’s clear you care deeply about your marriage and want to find a way through this challenging time.
Have you considered couples counseling? Sometimes having a neutral third party can help both partners understand each other's perspectives and find new ways to communicate and share responsibilities. It might also help to break down specific tasks or areas where you feel unsupported and discuss them one at a time.
You mentioned you're tired of parenting your partner. How does your partner respond when you share your feelings about this? Have they expressed a willingness to change or taken any steps to share the load more evenly? It might be helpful to set clear, tangible goals together for sharing responsibilities.
It’s great that you’ve already communicated directly with your partner about not wanting to be their mother. What changes, if any, have you both tried implementing since then? Are there any small successes that you can build on?
Being in the roommate stage can be tough. Have you had a chance to reconnect on a more personal level, doing activities that you both enjoy and that remind you why you fell in love in the first place? Sometimes, carving out time for just the two of you can help rekindle that connection.
Lastly, taking care of yourself is crucial. Are there any self-care practices you enjoy or could try to help manage your stress and exhaustion? Remember, you can't pour from an empty cup.
I'm here to listen and support you as you navigate through this. Feel free to share more about what you’re going through.