I got confessed to
Hi, I’m 16 ftm and my friend confessed to me. A few things are bugging me though. First, I’ve told myself so many times that I’m unloveable because I’m trans but she always supports me and calls me cute/hot so it’s a shock to me. Second, I’ve never been in a relationship before so I asked her to wait until school starts so I can see if I’m ready for a relationship and she said she’d wait 3 years for me. Third, I love physically. I met her a month ago at camp and haven’t seen her face to face since so I have a hard time trusting her words alone because of past trauma I won’t get into rather than a longer hug or something along that line. Fourth, I don’t trust myself. I have pretty bad anxiety at times and this might be me in my head, but I afraid because of proximity or something physical I might catch feelings for someone else given the flirty banter of my theater friends and I or I’ll just screw up somehow and I’ll lose her friendship too. I just feel so stuck since this is all new to me and I don’t know what to do
Hi @weirdoJo1234, I'm glad you reached out, and I'm sorry that you are going through this. It sounds like you are carrying quite a lot at once, especially as you are figuring out who you are, what you want, and how relationships even work. It makes complete sense that you feel stuck and overwhelmed, this is all new and you're trying to navigate it while also dealing with past hurt, anxiety and worries about trust.
The way you described your friend’s confession really stands out. When you’ve spent a long time telling yourself you’re unloveable because you’re trans, having someone show interest in you can feel shocking or unreal. It doesn’t mean you’re unloveable, it just means you’ve been carrying a belief that came from pain, not truth. Her support and the way she sees you says something important, you’re not as alone or unwanted as your mind has made you feel.
It also makes sense that you asked for time. You’ve never been in a relationship before, and you want to know if you’re ready. That’s a really thoughtful thing to do. Her saying she’d wait three years probably feels huge and confusing, maybe comforting, maybe overwhelming, maybe both. It’s okay to not know how to feel about that yet.
You mention you love physically, and that you haven’t seen her face‑to‑face since camp. When someone’s words feel hard to trust because of past trauma, that doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong, it just means your body needs more than words to feel safe. That’s a very human thing.
You mentioned the fear about catching feelings for someone else or messing things up, and you're not alone in feeling this anxiety. When you’re scared of losing someone, your brain jumps to every worst‑case scenario.
You’re welcome to keep talking here, and you don’t have to make any decisions right now. You don’t have to rush yourself. You’re allowed to take your time and figure out what feels right for you 💜
Emma
