I hate my relationship
Ive been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half. He's my first serious relationship. I honestly don't even want to be in a relationship with him at all. He's continously dissapointed me for the whole relationship. He doesn't understand basic respect either. He has good traits, but the amount of times he's continously let me down has built up resentment towards him. I always communicate about issues and I tell him to do the same. He never takes me seriously and the issues never get resolved even if i break down about it and ask him for the 100th time. He always makes false promises and I'm so tired of it. It felt like i was the only one trying to make this relationship work out. He's not that bad of a guy, he lacks responsibility in general. Just recently I've faced the fact that he'll never care as much about anything as me, isn't willing to put the amount of effort as I do, and take this relationship seriously. I've had mental health issues that have stemmed from my childhood and he makes it so much worse. I wish i could leave him but i can't let go of the familiarity. The only thing holding me back is attachment. Another reason I still stay with him is base level stuff. I stay because he's loyal and hasn't cheat on me, isn't abusive, and at least tries a bit. My expectations are so low, and I'm scared that if i meet another guy in the future, he won't have those traits. I've burnt myself out by trying to make this relationship work, and hes gotten me into so much trouble. I've recognized that this relationship would never work out and he's not the type of person i want to be with and I wish I could be independent enough to leave. I don't interact with him much now and I've given up but I still think about all this so much and it stresses me out. If you're reading this, any input would be nice. Thank you.
@BarkingPotatoe
You know this is not what you want settling because it feels safe is not an answer. the resentment that will continue to build you will soon find is not directed at him but instead at yourself for selling yourself short.
please love yourself enough to not settle for OK and miss out on something that could be so much better.
Respect what you have. Nobody is perfect in the world. Work on what you have. Make him feel that what if you gone. I'm sure he'll understand
@BarkingPotatoe
I remember being friends with someone who wasnt actually bad but there where certain comments and behaviour pattern that he would repeat and repeat even after i point out, he says sorry and does again, cause of his not so strong personality.. it was hard to say was he good or bad or what... but eventually i noticed tho i like to talk to him... it was still draining and a very superficial talks i thought we had a common understandingbut nope.. well, first of be clear what you want from a person and what you can offer, sometimes being alone is far better than being in a suffocating relationship. I hope you do find happiness when you are single, have a clear understanding and mindset of relationships b4 getting into one. Having boundaries is imp.. and its also personal... having boundaries means while loving other you dont forget to love your ownself. Its gonna hurt now , but it will be better to hurt yourself now then later . At the end do check and try everything for the last timee and move on. I hope whateva decision you take leads to a better one.
We both wasted 12yrs of life feeling same. Focus on you from today
Whatever you mentioned is what my wife felt after marriage she couldn't see the efforts I had put. For you right now is to focus on what makes you happy it can not be a person materials anything. Your happiness should come within you it happens when you understand and love yourself. You already have the answers to your questions but you are trapped in it. Fix one after another within you. 100% this relationship not going to happy and work out well. Let your guy understand and work on things you expect.