I'm 14 he is 24 I can't stop

@sametrareol I understand that the way you have been treated in the past has had been rough, and affects your circumstances today. Just remember that while your happiness is important, so is your health. While this man may be nice, even if you both loved each other, it is not quite a healthy relationship when you are still young and developing. I am not against age gaps- and never have been- but when one of the people involved is a child, that jeopardizes the safety and health of that person, even if it is a healthy relationship on paper. You deserve to be happy, and have someone who loves you unconditionally, but not telling him your age also puts him in danger. So, even if you stay with him, telling him your age is important- because, from my perspective, if you are going to have this relationship, it would only be fair to him to know your age. Maybe that will change things, maybe it won’t… just, please be careful. I have had a friend get into a situation where they were in a relationship and became dependent on an adult as a child, and they struggled to get out, even though they thought the person was treating them well. I’m not saying he is a bad person- I’m only suggesting that you make sure you are both okay with it, and consider the consequences. I hope this helps!

I completely understand where you're coming from. I'm not sure if every girl goes through this, but I definitely did. There comes a point where you're just starting puberty and everything feels overwhelming. Your body is changing, the way people look at you changes, the way boys treat you changes, how making friends suddenly become way more difficult because not everyone will understand and connect with you and sometimes even your relationship with your parents starts to feel different. You're only 14, still trying to understand yourself while the world suddenly expects you to know how to handle all these new emotions. That's scary, and it's lonely. Your feelings are real, and you're not "too much" for feeling this way.

But loneliness can make us hold onto the first person who makes us feel seen. When you've gone so long without feeling understood, someone who simply listens can feel like your whole world. I know it feels like love, but sometimes it's also just a relief from being alone.

What worries me isn't that you like someone older it's that you're only 14 and he's 24. A healthy 24 yr old should want to protect a 14-year-old plus you mentioned that he doesn't even know that you're 14, if he's normal he should not pursue a relationship with you. And what worries me even more is when you said you'd hurt yourself if it meant he'd love you. That's not what love should make you feel. Love is not built on lies. Love should start within you and if in the future you would like to have a partner, your partner should be adding more love to what you already have for yourself. It should not feel like begging or changing yourself to fit them. You also deserve someone who loves all of who you are. You mentioned you're part of the LGBTQ+ community, while he's homophobic and an extremist. Even if he makes you feel special now, imagine how painful it would be to love someone who rejects such an important part of you.

I know walking away feels impossible, especially when you feel like he's all you have. But I promise you, he isn't the only person who will ever make you feel seen. This will keep happening, you will continue to meet a lot of guys, and they will make you feel special or they will make you feel like they are different and each time you feel like you're in love, you will feel like your world will end if they leave but it won't. You will be fine. You will grow and you will keep learning about how to do all this weird stuff about life, about guys, and about yourself. You will get there, you'll get older and you will meet someone that's just the perfect age, the same values as you, you will have real friends that will be there for you, and you'll finally figure out a common ground that will work with your relationship with your parents. But for now, prioritize your safety, keep yourself safe. A relationship with already an adult who's almost finish at school or probably might even already have a job and experiences that you will just start to have will not gonna work out. You're only 14—you haven't even met most of the wonderful people who will come into your life yet. Please be kind to yourself. You deserve a love that makes you feel safe, valued, and accepted, not one that makes you feel like you have to lose yourself just to keep it.