Im afraid I'll lose the person I love most
This is my first time on this app and I need help. First I'll mention that Im a girl, bisexual and I have a girlfriend of 10 months. We're both teenagers, not adults. We're also in a long distance relationship. My gf is the best person I have ever met my entire life and Im sure I'll never find someone like her. But the problem is she is depressed. I accepted that, helped her as much as I could, but just a few days ago a friend of hers told me she's suicidal. Ik this app doesn't help people with suicide, but first please read the whole thing. I've been really upset about the news and told my parents. Even tho at first they tried to help, now they only talk about how she's a bad and manipulative person because they don't believe she is metally ill, yet ik my gf and she never used or manipulated me, even tried to protect my feelings by not telling me what's wrong. Ik she's caring and she's done so much for me, I wish I could help her more but I don't know how. And now my parents are just putting extra pressure on me instead of helping. As much as I wanna keep being with her, I started losing hope that she can be helped. The thought of losing her hurts so much, but I have two options: I break up with her and start moving on, knowing that even if she won't kill herself there's still so much to fix, especially cause we're kids and doing long distance, or I stay with her and keep hoping that things wikl eventually get better, despite what my parents are telling me. Both options are risky, since I never know if she will get better or not. But I just can't imagine my life without her, I can't look at somebody else. And even tho Im young Ik I love her and that she the only one I want. I need help with which solution is the best, how I can make my parents understand she's not a bad person and that I love her, but most of all how can I help her.
@BrunoTheDog Hey there,
I am so sorry to hear that you and your girlfriend are struggling. A warm hug to you 💛. While I can't give you any specific advice because it may or may not be right, I want to remind you that the decision about your relationship should ultimately be yours. But your parents' concern comes from a place of love and worry for your well-being only.
It is admirable that you are trying to help your partner but it's crucial to take care of yourself as well. If your girlfriend is experiencing suicidal thoughts, her family or a guardian must be informed so they can seek professional help for her. You and others can support her too, but a therapist or mental health professional is best equipped to provide the support she needs.
Remember, you can continue to be there for her without compromising your mental health. Please take care of yourself and consider your feelings and thoughts in this situation. You are welcome to message me if you want to talk about it more.
Thank you so much for replying. It's been days and I was starting to think no one will reply.
I know that speaking to a professional will help alot, but my gf said she's worried about the price for therapy, especially 'cause her family is struggling a little with money. She also said that she's not going to tell her mum about any of her issues. From what she's been telling me, alot happened in her family when she was a child. I will not share because it's personal, but it's understandable why she ended up like this since her mental health was affected since she was young. I honestly feel like her parents destroyed her life.
But as much as I love her, the past 10 months I only got worse mentally so I've come to the conclusion that leaving might be the best option. I want to help her, but like I said before she's not even an adult yet and Im afraid that if her mental health is so bad already, I don't know what she'll be like as an adult. The distance is not helping either, doing long distance was already difficult enough but dealing with this aswell? This is too much for me.
But even if being with her hurt me so much I still cant let go. I imagined my whole future with her, wrote about her and I simply never loved anyone like this. Im afraid to leave, because I also know it's gonna hurt her. I know she needs me and I feel like terrible person for leaving her when she needs me the most, but I just can't do this anymore. It feels almost Impossible to move on from someone that is your everything, your world. We've been through so much together and Im afraid I'll never find someone like her again, but dealing with long distance and her having mental issues? That feels like wasting my youth when other get to be happy with thier partner without having to go through any of this.
Sorry for making you read this much, ik it's alot but It's a complicated situation for me and I really need help. Thank you again for replying, I appreciate it alot.
@BrunoTheDog Hey Bruno!
I understand it can be tough to decide in such a situation. You are not wrong to think about yourself. If you are not feeling good, you won't be able to help anyone, right? And about therapy costs, there are organizations which can help her for free. I can help you find resources for her if you let me know where she lives. Please take care of yourself. Hopefully, she'll find the help she needs. Stay strong! 💛
Thank you so much for the help and support, it really means alot to me! And she lives in England.