I'm a truly disgusting person

I have been with my girlfriend for 11 months. Long story short we just broke up, I did her so *** bad it's disgusting. I am fairly entitled and a brat, I liked another girl for a bit of our relationship, I watched porn sometimes and kept it from her I lied when I shouldn't have I did so many grotesque things with no remorse or guilt except for when I was found out. I told her id change and that I loved her but I never did, today she broke up with me and I'm realising that the past year of my life has been a literal cesspool or greed and lust. Literally a comparable fraction of my life is full of putrid things. I made her want to jump, I made her relapse vaping and the funny thing is that I think I did love her and that when it was good I was very good but I am at the core a rotten person. I feel like ending it but I feel the need to actually suffer for what I made her go through, funny thing is I know she's gonna get with someone tomorrow to rebound and possibly fall into another relationship like this, hopefully not.