Im a wreck
she cheated on me, and I found out that yesterday, i knew something was off , but i loved her, did everything for her, inwas there for her in darkest of her places and now she found someone who probably is better looking than me and is more rich , and now I feel like a total fool giving my heart to someone . *** when I was with her i didn't even saw other women cause i respected her and loved her too much.
sometimes loving too much is harmfull, at least that's what I'm seeing right now.
I was really great in my studies, I was a topper of my class , and was great in everything until I met her , and now it's all fcked up, failed in 3 exams consecutively and wasted a whole damn year on nothing , just nothing. for someone like me , and the way i have been all my life, being a high achiever sort of thing it's like unbelievable to just exist. please help me
@decisiveWheel1659
I'm so sorry she hurt you and treated you so badly.
You didn't deserve this at all.
You deserve to heal and to get your studies back on track and choose someone that gives you the same energy and support back 💙
What should I do? I don't feel anything, mornings are hard and being alone with your thoughts is more harder than i imagine
@decisiveWheel1659
You have to keep busy and throw on the headphones, drown out the thoughts, until you start to get used to things and feeling more like yourself 🩷
@decisiveWheel1659
Hey, I can imagine your pain. A broken heart and it combined with the feeling of loss in your personal success path. It is a lot to take.
It is tough. It is disappointing. Strong feelings can pull lots of attention and energy. You can see the impact of being in love on your studies. The feelings caused by her betrayal can do similar or worse harm if they get to control you. You said you were high achiever. This part of you might have gotten rusty but it is not gone. You can get your mind to look for best way forward. Painful things happened. They can pull you down or make you stronger. Just when I say "stronger" I don't mean: "not needing anyone", "not believing in love", "shutting everyone out and living for yourself only", "using the next girl". I see those as empty avoidance that pretends to be strong. I mean stronger as "more self-aware", "more capable of compassion towards those who are in pain", "more capable of handling disappointments", "controlling your feelings more and trusting yourself more", ... This is a lot, and it is likely not for today. It's likely more for when you are ready to stand up for yourself.
For now, would it be helpful to look in yourself and differentiate the good from the bad?
It seems that your care was real and important for you? That you were serious about the relationship? That you have showed up from your side? Her choices might hurt, disappoint but they don't have to invalidate in you the value of what you gave. What if you are able to shift your perspective towards: "I gave something that was beautiful and tender, I am capable of love, I choose to learn from what hurts now to be ready for building something more real next time. I choose to rebuild my life without becoming bitter."
Thank you so much for this beautiful answer and with that more something did happened right now and I'm quite shaking , but I don't know where to tell so I'm telling you know. I got a interview call from my country's top engineering college for my masters and as you said yeah it got rusty, but i works still. Sending love to whoever you are
@decisiveWheel1659
Thank you 😊
How are things looking today?
Better than before, currently taking a break on the job i was doing for the interview, but sometimes I still think about her, her being with someone else really f***s my mind , but it's getting better, ik detaching, painful, aching ,but doing the work.
I’m glad to hear that you are standing stronger.
Good luck with your presentation and the interview. When is it?
@decisiveWheel1659 me too