I’m not sure what i keep doing wrong
So i’m in a relationship and we have been together since last year and almost half a year now. Which is my longest relationship yet since the others only used me. I just love my gf but she has anger issues and when we fight it gets heated to the point I apologise for everything and she then does too but she always leaves scars especially when she once said she would rather be alone than with me. But this time it was worse she and i had another fight and i admitted to her that i sh bc of an argument before and she got upset and then told me she needs distance and said we shouldn’t talk for a while. I don’t know how to feel bc when i open up about how i feel it turns into a fight and i just don’t know what i keep doing wrong i just want to be loved but it’s so hard.
@kindCat694
Relationships are hard. It is much harder when we cannot be ourselves or communicate effectively. you cannot change her only yourself. If her anger issues are a problem she needs to work them out. I was told as a child we push our own "MAD" button and I get that now. I can go into full on anger over trivial things partner does simply because I ruminate about it and push my own mad button.
You cannot always apologize and assume it is all on you. Relationships take 2 people the odds of you always being at fault are not mathematically impossible. Even if she apologizes too, the issue was not resolved just covered up by apologies not dealing with the problem.
When partners say mean things, it is often meant to harm their person. maybe you need to find better ways to communicate so you are actually heard and understood. When discussions escalate to fights it is often because the initial problem is still there and we talk around in not thru it.
Appeasing someone or trying to smooth things over all the time is not being loved or sometimes even being liked. Real love that we all want, is when they accept you flaws and all.
Thank you i feel better but i think she and i both need therapy for different reasons but now everything is fine between us we talked the whole day and laughed even if her words hurt i get that she is hurt too and i want to be there for her too.
And thank you for answering.