Inappropriate inlaw
First I hope I am sharing in the right venue. 2 years ago while on family vacation with my husband's family I had a negative experience with my father in law. I really loved and admired him, he was someone I got along with. We were at the beach and we did have many drinks. Every was starting to go to bed and we were still in the living room, he started telling me how happy he was I was in the family and hugged me(which I was fine with that, drunk people hug). Then when distancing from the hug he started pulling me in to kiss, I was moving my head to the left and right, and arching my neck back to avoid. I abruptly go up and left and went to the room where my husband was. When I told my husband, he defended saying he was blackout drunk. I didn't tell anyone else, especially his wife, because I didn't want to cause problems... Fast forward 2 years and his wife passed, I bought up to my husband it bothers me still and I don't really want to be around father in law, he says he goes around my parents even when he isn't happy about it. Please help, do I need to continue to keep my mouth shut and try to move on from that drunken night?
@posty2020 That would feel really creepy.
@posty2020
It is difficult to say ..... IMO if you felt it was just blackout drunk thing ... it would not bother you as much....... too many people want or are given a pass on behavior when drunk......
Maybe your husband does not want to believe it was anything but drunken stupidity and wants you to quit raising doubt in his mind ..... he sounds a bit defensive about it
I think you can try to be around but not alone with FIL ..... is there any other family that avoids him or anything to show he has been like this on other occasions?
T@toughTiger6481
Thank you. There was also a time, drinking again that, he tried to kiss my mother. She told me she felt discussed and didn't want to saw anything to cause problems with the family. My husband thinks if I talk about it, that problems will come, with his sister, her husband, and the kids. I'm scared people will think it could be my fault, or I caused this problem within, the family. And their perception of their dad changed. Please help.
@posty2020
I think from these instances he may have been trying to kiss because the planned on using" i was drunk" as a pass ...... It is not your fault and suggests if family cared they would address the behavior and a possible serious drinking problem.
Think of it this way......... by the time a person tries something on someone else family or maybe a non family member.........when they speak up ....... and then out of the wood work others say yeah he tried that on me and someone else says Me too.......
A family that does not want to make waves or say anything so they do not have to deal with it is not caring ...... this person has a drinking issue at the very least and perhaps something worse.....
when will they be willing for the disruption when he has bigger issues?