Insecurity?
Hey guys!
I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 4 1/2 years. I have really been struggling with being insecure and lately I’m spiraling. I’ve definitely improved from how I used to be and I was doing really good. I wasn’t letting the thoughts flood my head and I was able to control my insecure thoughts.
He has not done anything to show me that he would be unfaithful, but I still get those negative thoughts of him finding someone else. He loves me and he shows me everyday he does and I know he truly cares for me. I am being eaten up by the insecurity right now and I’m doing my very best to stay afloat. I am listening to self-growth podcasts, I’m working out, I’m finding new hobbies, I’m talking to myself positively, but I keep going downhill.
Any thoughts or ideas? Anyone in a similar situation?
@ThatOneGurl626
Insecurity can be how you feel about yourself and not a reflection on him... it sounds like you are doing all sorts of things to work on things but sometimes i find i have to be still and listen to myself and find what is really getting to me.
sometimes it is not the obvious thing or the thing you might think it is .
@toughTiger6481
Thank you for this! Yes, I will admit my insecurities come from how I feel about myself, it’s not always about him. Things have happened in the past, but we’ve worked through it and he’s helped me through it. I am doing a lot better this week, it was just super tough last week. I appreciate the advice and I will definitely do more self reflection.
I'm sorry you're struggling with this situation. Insecurity and fear of loss is a really difficult process. I've had similar feelings too.Sometimes we hold on to some things so tightly and are afraid of losing them that we harm ourselves and the other person.I understand from your words that you value him very much. And I'm happy for you. I hope your relationship continues well.You should know this: Some things in life are in our hands, and some things are not. Sometimes a beloved item can break and get lost. Of course, this may not happen .But appreciate the things you have while you still have them and experience the peace and beauty of the present. We don't know what the future will bring to us. This is actually both scary and beautiful. S Take care of yourself and go with the flow. Rest assured, everything in life will work out somehow 💐
My 3-year relationship ended a few days ago. It's actually a very difficult process for me. But I cannot reflect this to my surroundings. I want to cry, I can't cry. Because I'm a man, I'm judged even if I don't cry.I am judged for talking about relationship issues. Unfortunately, I live in an environment that always judges rather than understands... Actually, I'm used to it. I can fight alone.But still, sometimes I wish I could find someone who could listen without judgment to sort out the confusion in my mind. There were trust issues in our relationship too. But the real problem was that I could not draw my own boundaries and was very self-sacrificing.When I tried to set my own boundaries and say something I was upset or uncomfortable with, my feelings were often disregarded and I was accused of being touchy and arrogant.I really wanted to be understood and for my feelings to be taken into account, but unfortunately, my relationship with my girlfriend is not getting better anymore because I could not draw this limit in the beginning.In fact, my last girlfriend broke up with me because I said something I wasn't comfortable with.He told me that I was unsympathetic, selfish and egotistical. All I did was properly say something I was uncomfortable with. I didn't use rude or forward words. He reacted greatly and left that night. I don't know how to feel after this. These events have happened many times in different ways. We broke up several times. Unfortunately, I have no hope anymore. I have no faith left...
@okkes I appreciate all that you wrote, I really like the perspective you shared and I agree with everything. I really appreciate it. I should be appreciating and cherishing the time I have with someone instead of dwelling on the hypotheticals. I am doing a lot better this week, but this definitely helped boost me more too ❤️
I'm so glad you're better now. I hope your heart and soul will be more peaceful and spacious 💐. I hope you and your boyfriend overcome everything in your relationship together 🤍It's really nice that you strive to improve yourself and progress. I hope you enjoy every moment of your life and have a beautiful life. ✨🍀
Likewise, if you want to talk, I will try to understand you as much as I can and listen without judging you 💐