Is asking for Divorce a selfish decision?
Hello all i need urgent support please,
I'm 34 y and I'm married for 10 years, my husband isn't responsible, not caring very cold i asked him to care and to show any affection but he always asked me to accept him as is a year ago i stopped feeling anything for him i asked for divorce but he refused and told me that he will change, he didn't change completely but he's trying but really I'm not feeling anything for him I'm also vet stressed and anxious when he is me and I'm a way better when he is traveling or away , we have 2 children and I'm working but also I'm better with kids when he's away because when he's here I'm very angry and yelling all the time..i really need what to do i feel I'm better alone but i keep feeling guilty for him and my kids but i can't live like this.. please help me
@kajwl310
Hi there. I don’t feel asking for a divorce is a selfish decision, more wanting to no longer feel unhappy in a relationship. I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through, it sounds like it’s not been easy. Have you tried to sit down with your husband to explain how the situation is making you feel?
Yes i had and he always says accept me as is also my salary is higher than him so i pay for everything that didn't bother me at first but later he became more irresponsible and ask for more i also care for children he do so little things but 24/7 he is on his mobile or TV..to be fair he tried to change after i asked for divorce but he changed for few days and i know that something inside me is broken and i won't feel the same for him again
@kajwl310
No, it is not selfish ... you can be happier, and you can be a better role model for kids...
I see so many young people who grew up with unhappy parents and thinking you will miserable when grown up. they also make up reasons if they do not know and grow resentful of the person they think was at fault for the unhappy life.
@kajwl310
I believe in such a situation as you described a divorce wouldn't be a selfish decision.
All children deserve to live in complete AND happy families. But when you have to choose between the former or the latter—I suppose there is no perfect choice available. And it can really make a difference if you divorce when your kids are aged 2 and 5, or 12 and 15.
What you described in just a few sentences must be a story of your life, and I feel with these words you could barely scratch the surface. But hearing about how your partner behaves (concentrated on his mobile and TV), some questions come to my mind: What is his attitude towards you? Does he treat you more like an equal partner, or as if you were his mom? And, if he looks up on you as his "person who provides", can you afford it emotionally?
Can it be the reason why you get angry when he is around? Or maybe your relationship works better only as a long-distance one?
Are his promises to improve promises of an adult, mature person–or of a misbehaving kid?
Yes you're right he treats me as if I'm his mom he's not bad person but he can't be a partner i always feel like I'm mother of 3 not 2 because of his attitude, and when he promises to change he change verbally not by actions he avoids doing any effort and if a thing i requested needs effort he says even if i do it you won't be happy however he has never tried