Is healing supposed to be like this?

Hi. A few months ago I finally broke up with my bf of almost 3 years. Long story short, i broke up with him because he insulted my family and he didnt change his behavior despite communicating to him multiple times about how i felt.

Anyways, i felt like i was the "winner" compared to my ex because i didnt lose him, he lost me. I did my best to love him with pure and genuine intentions. I wanted to have a huge glow up session where im in the best shape and best version of myself.

However, sometimes i find myself letting myself go both physically and mentally. I notice myself feeling entittled and arrogant, I'll either have only 1 meal a day or choose an unhealthy diet. I also stop working out almost completely now, making up excuses that I'm tired from work or that i have too many appointments today so i dont have time for it.

I dont know why I'm being like this.