I shouldn’t feel guilty for asking for more

Hi guys,

I just had a conversation with my partner (I use that term very loosely we’re in a situationship) about how I needed him to show up for me more. He’s a very busy guy, works full time, he’s working on multiple music projects at once in which he has to do multiple practices for a week, and he has shows the next 3 weekends that he will be out of town for. I’m very thankful for any time we get to spend together and I make sure to thank and acknowledge him for fitting me into his busy schedule and finding time for me every week.

He’s honestly pretty bad about texting me. I understand how busy he is and I’m more than okay going a few hours at a time without hearing from him but there are some days where he’ll leave me on delivered for 8 hours at a time but meanwhile he’s posting on social media. I understand there’s a difference between quickly posting something and replying to a few people vs replying to a full on conversation with me but it still hurts when stuff like that happens but I honestly try my best to not make a fuss about it and just bite my tongue. It’s not even for lack of trying on his part, he has asked me multiple times how he could better reassure me and how he can show up better but again, I’ve been biting my tongue so I don’t seem difficult and because I know he’s super busy and going through a hard time and I don’t wanna add anymore to his plate so I just bottle it up. That’s totally my fault, how does he know something is bothering me if I don’t tell him?

Well, it all came bubbling to the surface this past weekend. He was away for a show so I already expect to barely hear from him because I knew he’d be busy but he texted me right before he went on stage telling me he was anxious. I sent him a reassuring message telling him that he has my full love and support and that he’s going to do amazing. Well, he left my message on delivered for 15 hours and meanwhile he was posting a bunch to his story. So I finally get fed up and I call him on the phone and I explain to him that the way he’s been treating me is very hurtful and I can’t be silent about it anymore. After a while of talking, he tells me he still wants me in his life and he promised to be better about getting back to me. I told him I only wanted him to do it if he genuinely wanted to and he kept reassuring me that he did.

Well that was a couple days ago and honestly, he has gotten better but I just can’t help feeling like I’m the world’s most annoying person. His replies have been more consistent but I noticed he hasn’t been as affectionate towards me and I’m worried if me asking for more effort secretly made him resent me. First of all, I’m probably totally just overthinking this whole thing and second of all, why would I wanna be with someone who makes me feel like asking for my needs is annoying? Logivally, I understand those things but I still cant get over feeling like I’m being a burden to him or that I’m annoying for wanting to talk more.