Is it normal to be jealous?
My boyfriend and I had been together for almost 2 years. We used to see each other everyday but due to work, I have to move and we can only see each other at most once a week.
We did tried and ring each other everyday but there are days where I feel like he just have too many people that he need to spend time with. I am a person who loves to stay at home most of the time and he always catch up/ have coffee with his friends.
For example, he will ring me after work for about an hour and go gaming with his friends/ family. There's just always plans after ringing me. I agreed that he need to spend time with friends and family, but I just hope that he has one whole evening just to talk to me and stuff.
Another example is, we are planning for a holiday. We don't have any locations in mind yet, but I did told him I would love to go to Norway before. And he kind of forget about it. And recently he wanted to bring his mom for a holiday too and the place he picked is Norway. When I heard it, my heart sinked. I told him that I would loved to go Norway before and right now he is planning to go with his mom. I feel he just forget about what I told him.
He usually never tell me if he will go for coffee with a friend or not. He will just go and I usually found out the next day when we were talking. I don't think he need to let me know his schedule for the day, but I got jealous sometimes. I know he won't cheat but I would be really happy if he let me know when he has coffee with his friends.
We are planning to move in together but it's going to take a while before that happens. We talked about my jealousy before and we did agree that it will be better once we moved in together, but I don't feel great before that.
Is it okay to be this jealous? Or am I being too much?
@brightTalker8266 hi there. thank you for sharing this with the community, talker :)
i hear you and your partner are having struggles in regards to jealousy in your relationship, mostly on your side. i understand how him always having plans and even forgetting that you wanted to go on holiday to Norway and instead planning that with his mother is making you feel jealous. It may even make you feel neglected. And that is completely understandable. Especially when in a relationship it is expected of *both* partners to be present and to *want* to be around one another, even if not all the time.
It really sounds like a good idea of you to sit down with him and have one big conversation about it. Express yourself and your worries using 'I' statements, give him examples of such behaviors as ground arguments to support your statement, and give him space to talk about it. If this does not work, I would recommend perhaps couples therapy? Because it really sounds like you are being neglected to some certain point. I definitely do not think you are being too demanding about it, and it is completely understandable to want to discuss all of that with him.
What do you think? I hope this helps you :)
- Kate, Community Mentor of Relationship Stress Community. <3
