Is it really over

My boyfriend (well ex) have been on and off again for 4 years. We have separated 3 times in 4 years. Last time of which was several months ago. I didn’t want him to leave but I was too scared to tell him to stay :( my biggest mistake! I immediately started therapy to better myself and clear my head. A month ago we started stated talking again and hanging out some but he didn’t move back in. I was honest with how I felt and he said he wanted a future with me but he needed to heal first. I understood that. But he began to confuse me. We talked about being together one day then the next he wanted space. Kinda wishy washy. He called me last week and said he needed to heal ect, that he didn’t want this now I need to give him time ect. This is truly killing me! I’m hurting so bad guys, it’s horrible. I’m worried so much about him, I feel like he needs me but idk what to do! It’s killling me inside!